Bad Dreams //mgc

65.

*Cara's POV*

I've had a fun time tonight. I was hoping to just have time to catch up with Alex, but then the guys showed up. I think everyone had fun. It's hard not to with the 5SOS guys around! Alex did seem off though. Almost intimidated. I guess the guys could be intimidating at first. I just hope she's not upset with me. This stupid trial has probably made her life hell and it's all my fault. God I suck. I'll talk to her tomorrow. I can't hold back the yawn. Its been a long day and it's 2am.

"I'm heading to bed guys. Please don't burn my house down!" Ashton giggles "We'll try!" Michael gets up and follows me back to bed. "You didn't have to come back with me, you know. You could've stayed up with them."

"I know, but I'm tired and I just wanted to hold my angel!" I love him so much! We climb into bed, I'm curled up on his chest about to fall asleep when he whispers, "Angel?"
"Yeah?"
"What were you like before you moved here?" Okay, now he got my attention. I sit up.

"What do you mean?"

"I just, it's just that Alex seemed pretty chill at first. After the guys got here and got a bit crazy, you had to step in and get us to chill. You've been that way since I met you. You're the only one who can do that. Even Luke's mom can't. But Alex seemed REALLY shocked. Almost as if she's intimidated by you. It got me wondering if you weren't always that way."

At least I'm not the only one who noticed she seemed off. But I never thought it could be because I've changed. I haven't changed have I?

"I don't know. I mean, I didn't trust people. It took me quite a while to trust Alex. I didn't talk much until I'd get to know a person. That took awhile. Once i did, i was just me. I dont know. I mean, I was friendly and knew lots of people, but it was all basic generic conversation. But until I knew a person, it was kinda 'don't speak unless you're spoken to'. I was one that you'd always find in a room full of people, but talking to only 1 or 2. Most people called me shy with no self confidence. I called it not trusting anyone, with a ton of self doubt and self hated. After the thing with Trevor, I lost trust in everyone but Regan. I suspected things with TJ but hoped I was overreacting. I shut down. Didn't talk to anyone except Regan and, well TJs voicemail. Why do you ask?"

"Because that's not the Cara that walked down the townhouse stairs that day." Woah, okay what?

"What? Unfortunately it was. I ran inside bawling my eyes out because one of the only two people I trusted proved why I don't trust people. I hated myself, I blamed myself, I swore off men. I never wanted to talk to anyone again."

"But you did. In the first 24 hours I knew you, you talked to me, you took my damn pizza, you fell asleep in my arms, twice, you asked me to stay, you invited me to your parents. In the first week of knowing you, you told me about TJ, your mom, Chris, and Trevor. Within a month of knowing you, you were my girlfriend, you invited my band to your family's, you talked to Ashton about Chris. You worked with him to find him, and you told us all about the rape. Look at you now angel. My mates and I were freaking out and YOU took command of the room, of each of us as individuals and as a whole and helped give us the confidence we needed to go out there. It is because of you that we got this recording contract. I know you still doubt yourself, but look at how strong you are. 6 months ago would you have filed charges? Would you have intentionally messed with TJ like we did the other night? I loved you then and I love you even more now."

Oh my god, he's right. I'm not the same person Alex once knew. I mean, I'm still me, but a stronger more confident me. A happier me.

I didn't realize I was crying until Michael wiped the tears away. "I still cry too damn much!" I chuckled. "But you are right. I'm still me, I still have the same personality, but I am stronger, more confident sometimes, I'm definitely happier, and I trust the four of you. Especially you. Did I tell you that I never told anyone specifics about my grandpa? I mean Regan had a general idea, but never knew exactly what happened. You are literally the only person I've told. I never thought I would ever feel loved again. I never thought I could love anyone again. Within seconds of meeting you, I started to. I started to change the moment I first looked into your eyes."

"I finally realized something recently. After the Trevor thing, like I said, I shut down. That's why no matter what I did, I couldn't remember. My first memory came when I was in your arms, only an hour after meeting you, because I felt safe again. Safe in your arms. My heart knew right away. It just took my brain a little longer to catch up."

Michael and I both cried a little, then laid back dawn and I fell asleep where I'm supposed to be. Safe in his arms.

a/n: Thank you ALL for over 1K reads! Holy shit! This is so awesome guys! Thanks again!