Bad Dreams //mgc

52.

*Cara's POV*

We went out to the boardwalk and found a pizza place that turned out to be really good pizza. We walked the entire length of the boardwalk, stopping into the few shops that were open. It's February and most boardwalk shops don't open until May, the start of tourist season. We just walked, hand in hand, talking about whatever came to mind, laughing and joking around.

It feels strange to me that what I enjoy doing most with Michael is nothing at all. Just walking, talking, being around him. He makes me laugh so much. He got going on this 20 minute long impromptu monologue about my lighter. "Flick my bic" was all it took to start it. My stomach hurts from laughing so hard and I have tears running down my face. He finally stopped when I had to sit down and catch my breath!

The sun was starting to set, so we sat down in the sand with his arm around my waist and I leaned into his chest, staring at the horizon. "This has been more than I ever could've asked for Mikey. Thank you for doing this."

"Anything for you, angel."

After the sun sets, we decide to go watch a movie. I don't remember what movie it was, I didn't watch any of it anyways. We were too busy making out! Thank god we were the only ones in the theater. Once the movie ends, we dart back to the hotel. I actually want to do something for him, but anywhere other than the hotel feels dirty. I will not allow myself to feel dirty ever again. As soon as we're in the room, he pulls me into him and kisses me hard on the lips. This kiss is full of pure lust. As we move towards the bed, I have one thing on my mind that I really want to do. Or at least try. I unbutton his jeans and try to shimmy them off of him. When we reach the bed, he removes them while I take off his boxers. I lightly push him down onto the bed and drop to my knees. I glance up at him and his eyes are full of shock. I take his erection into my mouth and he groans "oh fuck!" giving me the encouragement I need to continue. I continue through the moans and "oh god oh fuck"s and I'm actually enjoying this. I can tell he's getting close as his eyes roll back, but when he brings his hand to my head and laces his fingers through my hair, I freeze and instantly pull away. I can feel the tears forming in my eyes but I force them not to spill. I can't do this! I wanted to so badly but I can't! I jump up and dart to the bathroom, crying out "I'm sorry Michael" as I shut myself in the bathroom, collapsing to the ground. I can't control the tears any longer as they pour out. I hate you, I fucking hate you grandpa!

*Michael's POV*

I was really surprised when she dropped to her knees and put her lips around me. I never expected her to do that, but damn it felt so fucking good! I was in a whole other world when I stupidly grabbed a hold of her hair. Stupid. So stupid. I knew better than to do that, but I got so caught up in how amazing it felt that I wasn't thinking.

"I'm sorry Michael" she had said. She's sorry? She has nothing to be sorry for. She's feeling guilty again for things that are not her fault. I'm not going to lie, I really wanted her to finish me off, but I can't blame her in the least.

She's crying now. I stand up and throw on a pair of sweatpants before I go into the bathroom. I open the door slowly as I spot her sitting against the bathtub, knees up and her head buried in her hands. I walk over to her and sit next to her, close but not touching her. I know she's spooked. "I'm so sorry Michael," she cries. "I wanted to, I really did. I tried, but I... I just couldn't"

I cautiously wrap my arm around her shoulder. "Shhh shhh it's okay angel. It really is. You have nothing to be sorry for."

"I wanted to," she said again, "But I... when you...I just..."

"I know angel, I know. I shouldn't have done that, it's not your fault."

"Its not yours either. That's the thing! You did nothing wrong. You did what felt good, what felt right, in the moment." She paused before saying "I fucking hate him!"

She turned into my chest and cried, while I rubbed her arm. After she calmed down, I held both of her arms, leaned down to look her in the eyes and told her, "Maybe one day you'll get there, maybe you won't. It doesn't matter if you can give me a blowjob or not. I won't love you any less. Sure, I hope you can, cause that felt fucking awesome, but I don't need that. I only need you. I love you, and I want to be with you, just the way you are."