Exit God Out - Book One - The Unexpected Terrestrial

Exit God Out Book One: The Unexpected Terrestrial - Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Jackson spent the rest of the night alone and awake on the couch. He looked out over the vast ocean and tall rocky cliffs dotted sporadically by porch lights that bordered the edge of the island, hoping to see a large white and grey bird float by. The ferry dock sat silent, with only the odd car coming and going. He tried to fit all the day's events into slots and file them away, searching for a comfort zone so that he didn't have to deal with it all, but there was little respite.

Then there was the guilt of not being able to call relatives. He was barely able to put a sentence together, not to mention speaking to someone on a phone and listening to them shatter into pieces. After Charlie, Victor and Diane, he was one tear away from taking a giant leap off the deck himself. He tried hard not to entertain the idea, but anguish has its own agenda, and the despair was unending. He got up, took his shoes off and walked outside into the cold, wet December night and leaned over the deck, only to catch a glimpse of the notches he once enjoyed studying, breaking again into fits of sobbing. He knew he wasn't in any condition to make logical choices, but logic plays no part in misery. He began to scream, caring not that the whole island could hear him. The "whys" could not be answered, nothing made sense, and he leaned further over the deck until his balance was almost equal. He put his arms out as if to fly, and as he began to lean past the tipping point over the rock cliff, he could feel a hand pull him back by the shoulder. He turned around to get a good look at the savior but he saw nothing. He could still feel the pull on his shoulder. It was not subtle. He stood up on the deck, looked around squinting, trying to focus, believing it was Victor coming to his rescue after hearing his calls of desperation, but there was no one there. His mind cleared for a moment, the pain leaving his cells, and he quelled the chatter and noise and stood silently and listened. He did not know what he was listening for. He just listened.

There was no booming voice from above. No vision of angels or lights coming down from the sky, just a clear picture within the recesses of his soul, of Diane, smiling and comforting him. He could feel her arms envelop his entire body, and her voice was becoming clear. He did not resist. He did not panic. He never once felt any need to be afraid. It was beautiful. It was awe-inspiring. And there were no words on planet Earth to describe the moment, nor did he have any idea how long it lasted. Somehow that night, he made it back to the couch. He bolted up at the first ring of the phone at 5am and almost fell off. He didn't hesitate to answer it.

"Jackson!" The voice was not instantly recognizable, and he paused for a moment to see if his memory would trigger something.

"Dad!" Jackson gripped the phone with both hands. "I didn't realize it was you."

"Well, my voice may not be all that clear right now as you can imagine." Martin Brown struggled to hold back the tears, failing miserably.

The two men were unable to manage a complete sentence for some time that morning. Both tried to compose themselves for the other, hoping to ease the pain that had invaded their blood and bones. Finally Jackson was able to ask whether anyone else knew, and if he should call, but Martin had already taken care of everything.

"I'll give you a call later okay? Your Grandmother is likely going to call this morning as well. I'm thinking of heading to your place today. Would that be okay son? We can head north together. We'll talk more about it when I get there."

"Sure Dad. Call me when you're at the airport. I can come and get you if you want."

"I'll call you from the airport. Jackson..." his voice cracking, searching for the right words to end with. "I love you son. I'll be there soon."

"Love you too Dad," and Jackson hung up the phone and fell onto the couch, what tears were left were pushing their way out, as he sat in shock of hearing, for the first time in his life, that his Dad loved him.