Book Of Phan One Shots

Betrayed

AN/ TRIGGER WARNING! IF YOU ARE TRIGGERED BY SUICIDE PLEASE DON'T READ! I AM BEGGING YOU! And if you need help please send me a message and I will try very hard to help you.

Dan walked slowly on the sidewalk, the night was engulfing. Dan felt like he was going to get sick. Phil had been acting so different lately. Dan tried pushing away the thought but it kept coming up. It just kept coming up. He wanted it to be gone. He tried to think of all the things that could be happening but that just made him sad. Dan started breathing harder and faster. His heart pumped in his ears so loud he almost couldn't hear is thoughts. Almost. He wished he couldn't. They were filled with Phil and what had him acting so dodgy.

Dan shoved his hands in his pockets and took a few deep breaths. He just wanted answers. Dan walked faster towards the apartment. He was expected home tomorrow morning but plans fell through. Dan walked towards the apartment door and turned it pushing his way into the flat. He heard muffled sounds thinking that Phil must be watching t.v or listening to music. That was the only explanation that kept Dan sane. He walked the stairs slowly and arrived in the living room. The sounds were coming from Phil's bedroom.

Dan knocked on the door and heard the voices stop. Tears brimmed his eyes as he knew what was going on. Dan's worst fear was true. He walked into the room and saw it. Phil without his shirt on with a boy next to him. Tears started flowing down Dan's cheeks as Phil looked surprised.

Betrayal didn't even begin to explain the hurt Dan felt. It was like Phil ripped Dan's heart tore it up and threw it out in the wind to never be seen again. Phil got up, "Dan-"

Dan started sobbing looking at the half naked boy next to Phil, what happened to Dan? Was he not good enough? What did he lack that this boy filled?

"Phil." Dan barley chocked out staring at the scene. He closed his eyes and turned around opening them only when he wasn't looking at Phil. Dan ran out of the house sobbing he heard Phil behind him but he didn't want to deal with him.

"Dan! Please stop!" Dan tripped on the pavement falling to the ground. He couldn't breath, he thought his lungs were going to give up on him. He kneeled on the ground pulling at his hair thinking, why? What did I do to deserve this? Dan thought he was what Phil wanted. He thought he was his forever.

He scraped his hands enjoying the pain. He felt numb to everything else besides the damn scratches on his hands. Phil placed his hand on Dan's shoulder. Dan shook it off and bent down once again sobbing unable to look into Phil's face.

"I'm sorry." Phil said his voice cracking. Dan let out a cry. The pain was unbearable. Unable to breath right Dan chocked on his breathes.

"Why?" Dan coughed out, barley.

"I'm sorry Dan." Phil said his voice full of sorrow. Dan wondered how long he faked that sad voice. How much he faked.

"Why?" Dan screaming looking up from his hands to see Phil crouching in front of him his shirt off. The wind blew over the two sending his hair to toss around. Dan wanted to hate his face. He wanted to with all his sole but he couldn't. Dan was sick thinking that he still thought Phil was perfect in appearance.

"It's just that- that." Phil looked away tears flooding down his face, "I love you."

"No you don't." Dan spat rubbing his face to try and stop the tears, rendering useless.

"I do." Phil said, "I love you and Jason."

Dan felt like a knife had been lodged into his chest. His name was Jason. A name to the face that stole his true love, this didn't sound like Phil. This sounding like a dream. Dan tried to pinch his arm. It didn't work so he slammed his hand to the ground trying to wake himself up.

"Stop." Phil pleaded trying to reach out to Dan.

Dan pushed him away and screamed, "Don't fucking touch me." His voice breaking. Dan slammed himself against a building crying, the pain was unbearable. He closed his eyes opening them to find Phil in a mess of tears on the sidewalk. Dan built up all the draining energy he could and ran through the streets. He needed this to stop. He needed everything to stop.

He heard Phil not too far behind him but Dan was already at the bridge. He climbed the cold fence and stood at the top looking down into the rushing water. It would be so easy, one step. He got light headed and clung onto the beam.

Phil stood with horror in his eyes, "Dan! Stop!" Phil screamed his eyes flickering around his surroundings.

"Why?" Dan asked through tears as the wind blew hard over him pushing him towards the water. Towards a forever without hurt or pain.

"I'm sorry." Phil said, "I- I couldn't deal with us. We were too ordinary. I'm sorry, I know it's a mistake."

"You were more than ordinary to me, Phil!" Dan screamed at the top of his lungs, "You were my fucking everything. I loved you with every ounce of my God damn body."

"I know." Phil whispered taking a step closer to Dan.

"No, you don't." Dan whispered back with so much hurt in his voice he swore that Phil flinched, "You don't know what it's like to have your-" Dan had to stop for a moment to reassemble himself to choke out the words, "To have your whole life go against you. To have nothing go your way until you meet someone. I met you and you convinced me that the world wasn't a horrid place. That even in the darkest places, angels still existed. Then I found out you were another damn dark thing in my life!"

"I'm sorry, please I love you Dan." Phil said pleading taking another step closer.

"No, you don't. If you loved me you wouldn't have done that." Dan said, "You are just like everything else in my life, a fucking lie. A terrible, terrible lie that seems all okay and nice but is really the epitome of evil!"

Dan let go of the steel bar and leaned backwards feeling the air engulf him. He flew down towards the rushing water. Towards something that didn't hurt him. Towards something better than his stupid laugh.

The last thing Dan heard before he hit the cool black water was Phil's scream.