Danis POV
I let out a sigh and rest my head on the wall. I pull my legs up to my chest and run my hands through my hair. I can feel Louis eyes on me and I hate how he looks at me with sympathy. It makes me feel like I am vulnerable and tiny, and I hate it. I hate feeling like shit everyday, I hate hurting people and getting hurt. You are the common denominator, the voice in my head says. I squeeze my eyes shut and try to get the thought out my head. There is only one way to stop it. The voice says. I use to hear the voice all the time after Eric and I broke up. It took me ages to get the voices out. They make me feel like I have a mental illness and I hate it.
"Maybe you should see someone so you can talk to them and they can help you." I look up at Louis and he is staring out the window. I am not sure if he said that or if I was just thinking it.
"What?" I ask my voice sounding tiny and soft.
"I said it's a nice day, we should go for a walk." Louis replies looking down at me.
"I would rather not be harassed by fans." I reply flatly.
"Not if we go to our spot." Louis replies walking up to me.
"Maybe another day." I respond not looking him in the eyes.
"Some fresh air might do you some good." Louis tells me as there is a knock on the door.
"I said another day." I snap and get up. I didn't really mean to snap but I really didn't want to go anywhere and especially with him. A feeling of sadness and betrayal rises every time I am with him mixed with anger and happiness, and I don't know how to feel about him. Some days I just want to be with him and kiss him and be us again. Other days, like today, I want to be as far away as possible from him. It may be because of my memories last night, or that I cried in his arms for so long, I hate that he has seen me so vulnerable. I hate that I am that vulnerable.
I make my way to the door and look through the peephole. I sigh when I see who it is and open the door.
"Aunty Nell!" Ben yells and hugs my legs.
"Hi Ben." I say trying to sound excited when I feel the opposite.
"Hi sorry to just pop in like this, I would of called but I wanted to surprise you." Steph practically yells and gives me a hug that I slightly return.
"Well it was a surprise." I mutter and let them all in. Tom walks in with Lily in his arms. He gives me an awkward hug and Lily kisses my cheek.
"We've missed you Aunty Nell." Lily tells me and I give her a sad smile.
"I've missed you too." I reply.
"Louis!" Ben yells and I can just imagine him running and giving Louis a big hug and Louis hugging him back.
"Hey big guy, how have you been?" I hear Louis say back. I lead Tom and Steph to where Louis is and they both follow taking in the looks of my apartment.
"Why are you here?" I ask bluntly.
"Can't I come across the country to see my little sister?" Steph asks putting her arm around my shoulder and I shrug it off. Today is not the day I want to be touched.
"...and it was this big!" Ben explains to Louis and spreads his arms out wide so Louis can see how big the object Ben is talking about is.
"That big? That's a huge plane to ride on." Louis replies, I don't know how he can sound so interested and excited.
"Yeah but Lily was crying the whole time." Ben pouts crossing his arms.
"Was not." Lily argues.
