Just Friends?(BWWM)

I Gave Up You

Chapter 8: I Gave Up You

(Caspian's POV) 

I looked at Riley and she said "Look I love you, I do but I just can't be the girl you expect me to be. It's just to hard for me to be with you and grieve my father and recover from the shooting. I am too broken right now and it's not fair to both of us. I just have lost too much Caspian." Something inside me snapped, I was no longer able to sugarcoat anything. She needed to hear the truth so I yelled "Your not the only one hurting Riley! I am sick and tired of you acting like your the only one broken, I lost everything to! I sacrificed a year of my life for Jaceyln, I gave it all up for a daughter I thought was my own. I gave up a year of my life being with someone else, I gave up my home in California, I gave up you Riley. Damn It, I gave up you." 

Riley jumped and tears flooded her eyes and I continued "If alone is what you want, then that's what you will get." I grabbed my bag and walked out of the door not looking back for one second, Riley needs to see that what she thinks she wants isn't what she needs. 

(Riley's POV) 

The moment he walked out of the door I immediately regretted my decision to let him. Tears were flooding my eyes while I watched him slam the door. After that moment my heart didn't feel like it would beat the same. I grabbed a bottle of Vodka, and drank it to it's entirety. I could feel myself loosing control, I was drunk and heartbroken what the combination. 

I stumbled my way to the bathroom and started the shower, I took of my clothes and got inside. The song on pandora was playing called "Stitches by Shawn Mendes." I started to listen to the song and sing along "Now that I am without your kisses, ill be needing stitches." After singing that lyric I lost it, I slid down the shower and sat down in the tub while the water hit my back.  I zoned out and I was put back to that day. The sound of gun shots covered the sound of the water and the song, I just kept hearing gun shot after gun shot.... 

Then I saw her, I saw her walk up to me and say "This is all your fault." Then she shot me, but this time I didn't fade away. I felt all the pain from the shot, but I was still very alive and very aware. I stood up and looked down at my chest where I was bleeding, and I turned to see the bodies and blood everywhere. Caspian was shot in the back, he was laying right next to his dead mother, Hayden's body was on the stairs close by to mine and Jasmine's was in the isle. I could see all of the suffering and the pain of watching all of that was far worse than the gunshot wound. Suddenly Jaceyln appeared again with blood on her and I knew it was my father's and she said to me "This is all your fault, you couldn't save them and now you can't save yourself. I win." She raised the gun and shot me...

I snapped out of it screaming to the top of my lungs in fear, I heard someone run in the room and Jasmine ran to my aid. I couldn't stop crying to mumbling "It's my fault, it's all my fault. It's too much."  Jasmine came and turned off the water, gave me a towel and held me in her arms. She kept whispering "Snap out of it, Riley. It's okay, your okay." But I couldn't, I couldn't snap out of it. I was breaking down, all I could see was blood everywhere. Jasmine held me up and said "Calm down Riley, it's not real." I couldn't respond to her, I was stuck in that moment. I was stuck looking at everyone hurting because of me, Jaceyln was right I couldn't save anyone and I couldn't save myself...

I got up from the floor and ran towards the kitchen, not in the right state of mind. I grabbed a knife from the drawer and yelled "It's all too much to bear, the pain it's too much." Not being in the right state of mind I pointed the Knife to myself, and said "Jaceyln took it all away from me, my dad, Hayden, Caspian. It's all gone, my heart is gone." Jasmine ran towards me knocking me to the ground, she ripped the knife from my hands and kept yelling "Riley come back, come back." 

I was stuck in this imaginary state that she couldn't pull me out of, Jasmine grabbed her phone and called 911. I looked at my hands, and in the moment all I saw was blood. I looked at all of the blood on my hands and blacked out...

(Jasmine POV)

I looked at the doctors picking Riley's unconscious body up and putting her in a stretcher, she still hasn't come back from the episode she just had. The police officer and a nurse walked up to me and asked "Ma'am what exactly happened here."  I sighed and responded "Well I came home to screaming, so I ran to the bathroom where I heard it and found her in the tub with the shower going. She wasn't there if you understand what I am saying, it was like she was seeing something different in her head. She was rambling about it all being her fault, she then ran to the kitchen grabbed a knife and pointed it at herself and said "it was all too much". That's when I tackled her, but she's not crazy it's just well you guys probably remember what happened a few weeks ago. The Accarda's wedding from hell, well she was one of the main victims of the attacks. Ever since that day she hasn't been the same and now this. I think apart of the problem is they haven't found the woman responsible for this." 

The nurse looked at me and down at the floor where Riley was picked up, and calmly said "She is  struggling with PTSD which is what's causing the episodes like tonight. She physically was here but mentally she saw something different. No it doesn't make her crazy it just makes her a victim of a traumatic experience but with therapy and medicine she can get better. We will keep her over night and then next week we will put her through a program, but the driving has got to stop. If your wondering what I am talking about there is a completely finished Vodka bottle on the table." 

I nodded my head and said "Thank you, I will follow behind you guys I just have to call her boyfriend and family first." I sighed and looked at Riley in the stretcher and said "You will get through this Riley, you are a fighter." 

Okay so you guys might think this chapter is a little dark but Riley needed a breaking point and this was it! Now we know why she's been the way she has been, she has been struggling with a disorder and now she can get the help she needs. The only bad part about it is she pushed Caspian out before this happened, the only question is now that she's vulnerable will she finally let him in? Vote and comment what you guys think about this chapter and I am sorry if you guys didn't enjoy it but it was a necessary evil.

Love you guys,

Kaela