lost in neverland // Robbie Kay

catch hell ◎ Part 19

* seriously guys, song suggestion; Scene One - James Dean & Audrey Hepburn by Sleeping With Sirens, it'll make you cry if you listen to that song while you read ok enjoy :) *

When Devin saw Pan and I that day I couldn't help but feel absolutely terrible.. there I was, with his heart in my hands and I was breaking it piece by piece and handing it back to him. metaphorically of course. but I could see the hurt on his face, and every time Pan would see me start to go to talk to him, he'd make this weird whistle noise and motion for me to be at his side. the king was to make all the decisions and the 'queen' was to sit there and gawk at her king. as if. Pan is awfully possessive over somebody who couldn't leave this damn island no matter how hard I try. I guess I'll just ignore the stupid whistle next time. let's test my limits with Pan. I walk over to Devin and I immediately hear the whistle and take a deep breath, he can only hurt me so much. I whisper to Devin,

"Dev, play along. no matter how far this goes. play. along. and meet me at the beach tonight after everybody is asleep."

Dev nods at me with s small smile. I speak louder so Pan can hear me.

"Dev!! I never want to see you!! you ruined my life! and to think..I started to like you!"

I wink at Dev to reassure him it's still apart of the plan.

"fine! if you wanna be that way then be that way! I'm glad I did what I did!"

I stomp away and into Pan's arms. while fake crying into Pan's shoulder, he turns my body away from Dev and now he can see my face, I smile at him and he nods. I can't be happy on this island as long as Devin is here to suffer. I may not be able to leave the island. but Dev can. I'll be punished for the rest of my life, but so be it. the day goes on as if any other day with Pan. he makes all the orders and I just sit there. how exciting am I right? after hours of absolutely nothing, nighttime falls. I'm in Pan's hut just pondering around. he's technically had me move in. and it's disgusting. I feel like Pan would've been a man whore in the real world considering how he metaphorically throws himself at me. every night I've been in there he's either pinned me down and forcefully kissed my neck or made sexual hints towards me and I wasn't gonna have it. I mean..I'm not complaining about the kissing or whatever cause oh my satan he's hot when he takes off his shirt. and lately he's been..sweet. weird to see him like that but it's true, he's really acting like he has feelings for me. I won't lie, he's been giving me butterflies. but that doesn't change the fact I need to help Dev, he deserves a happy life. I mean all the lost boys do, but not a single one of them were as nice to me as Dev was. maybe I could truly fall for Pan, if he played his cards right and wasn't a total dickhead to me when he was upset. but c'mon, this is Peter Pan we're talking about. but I suppose it was possible I could love Pan.. fake it until you make it I guess. Pan climbed into bed and I climbed into bed as well. he goes to cuddle and and I put my hand up,

"I'm having uh...cramps. for you know......"

my cheeks turn bright red even though I'm not no where near my time to have it. he seems quite he nods softly,

"I understand princess. sweet dreams."

he rolls over and within minutes he's out. he's had a tough day. he begins to snore softly and it makes me giggle. I kiss his head and sneak out of his hut and down the ladder. I walk carefully to the beach and sit in the sand drawing with my finger. suddenly somebody grabs my sides making me jump, but thankfully it's only Dev.

"you're such an asshole!"

I smack his arm playfully and he engulfs me in a hug. I missed his hugs.

"Dev...we gotta talk.."

he sits next to me and grabs my hand,

"about?"

I sigh and look down,

"I'm getting you out of here."

he lets go of my hand and looks at me as if I just spoke a foreign language.

"yes Dev, you heard me. I heard talk about magic beans and how they open a portal.. and well.. while puttering around Pan's hut.. I found one.."

he squeezed my hand and tears welled up in my eyes,

"I can't leave Dev...but you can. you can have a life off this island-"

"I don't want one if you can't be with me,"

"Dev shut up. I want you to do this. I need you to do this. Pan won't allow us to be together, and it hurts.. so I need you to go to the main land. have a life there. live for both of us.."

he shares a small smile,

"is there anything else I can do for you there?"

I take out a piece of paper folded up and hand it to him,

"my address and city and state are written on the front. go there and explain to my parents where I am, and how I cannot come home. explain to them everything. and give them this note and make sure they know I love them very much.."

I start to cry and he hugs me tightly,

"and I want you to know I love you."

he lets go and looks at me with shock,

"yes Dev I said I love you, but like.. I love you as a person. you're gonna be the reason I never give up. you've given me a reason to be strong. but you're also the reason Pan is probably gonna kill me. but that's alright. you'll have a life off of neverland. live for both of us."

he sighs softly and nods.

"promise me you won't cut yourself again?"

I let out a small laugh,

"Dev, I'll be okay, I can promise you that. I'm a big girl remember?"

I gesture to the scar on his face and he rolls his eyes and laughs at me.

"and forgive me for that scar?"

"you're getting me out of this hell, of course I forgive you."

I kiss his cheek and throw the bean on the ground in front of him. before jumping in, his grabs me by my waist and kisses me softly and whispers,

"I won't forget you..and I'll never be able to repay you for this. I love you Stephy. forever."

I smile softly at him before he speaks again,

"be good alright?"

I nod and wipe the tears off my face and they flow from my eyes heavily. he waves at me one last time and jumps into the portal. I whisper ever so faintly as he jumps,

"goodbye Dev."

there goes my happiness in this hell. I fall to my knees and begin to cry. both happy tears and sad. he gets to have a life away from here. but I'm going to catch hell for it.

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IM LITERALLY CRYING DONT TOUCH ME.
LONG LIVE DEPH.

anyways I'm sad I literally cried writing this I'm going to miss Devin so much don't touch me I'm emotionally unstable have a good day sorry for making you sad if this made you sad idk I love you bye

Steph