lost in neverland // Robbie Kay

nothing to me ◎ Part 10

"WAKE THE HELL UP WOMAN DO YOU WANNA BE LATE??"

I wake up to Lissa screaming in my ear, I must've overslept. I throw on the closest thing to me and apply the coverup to the bruise. I shove my new knife in my boot and head out.

"ladies, I'm glad you've decided to join us."

"I'm really not in the mood for your snide ass comments today Pan. just put me in the middle."

"your wish is my command princess,

he raises his eyebrow at me and I walk to the middle.

"choose a parter."

I take a deep breath, do I really wanna do this?

"Devin."

Devin looks at me with a shocked expression and Pan smirks.

"yesterday makes so much sense now princess. Devin. to the middle. choice of weapon?"

"I.. I uhm.. sword I guess.."

Devin stutters and stands before me in the middle.

"Stephanie, what will your weapon be?"

I pull my knife from my boot and spin it in my hand. I wanna do this.

"Stephy, a knife to a sword fight?"

Pan mocks the nickname Devin had given me. he knew it would send my anger through the roof. I shoot a glare at Pan and take my stance.

"a knife it is I guess. fight."

Devin goes to take a lunge at me. I crouch down and spin my leg out tripping the lost boy. I pull my new knife to his cheek and press. his eyes are laced with fear and confusion. I remember how he made me feel safe and his words echo in my head.

"I'll protect you, ya know. nothing bad will happen to you as long as I'm around."

but he was the one to hurt me. I dig my knife deeper breaking skin and pull it an inch down his face. he shrieks with pain and screams for somebody to pull me off. two lost boys rush to us and pull me off by my arms. I kick and flail and resist as much as I can. I spin my knife in my hand, the poor boy on my right arm, gets his arm cut. it won't scar though. he lets go and shrieks in pain. I punch the boy on my left on the side of his nose, breaking it. he'll have a black eye by morning. I rush back over to Devin as my blood pumps through my veins. this is truly exhilarating. I see why Pan loves it. with no time at all I'm back on top of Devin. my knife to his neck. I lean down to whisper,

"you're nothing to me."

and with that I stand up and start to walk back to camp. Pan tries to stop me, he grabs my arm and looks into my eyes for just a moment before he releases his grip. I walk back to camp without a thought in mind. I'm by the fire when the two boys I had to hurt come back. they look at me and are consumed with..fear?

"boys. here. now."

I state at them. they slowly approach me. one is holding his nose and the other is holding cloth to his arm.

"listen..I'm sorry."

"lost boys don't say sorry Stephanie."

the one with the broken nose simply states.

"I know lost boys don't say sorry. but I'm not a lost boy. I'm a lost girl. and we do say sorry. I didn't want to hurt either of you. but Devin hurt me and he needed to pay."

they nod at me,

"we're not mad at you. Devin is a dick to us all. it's about time somebody taught him a lesson other than Pan. we just helped him because we knew nobody else would."

I smile realizing not all of Pan's lost boys are total douchebags.

"you guys know the knife I used?"

they nod.

"I'll make you both one. as long as you don't use it against me,"

I wink and they smile and walk away to tend to their wounds.

the rest of the boys and Lissa return and Lissa smiles at me and before I can explain myself she says,

"you need to make me one of those knives. and you fought so well!"

Pan walks up, she sighs and leaves. Pan sits next to me as I clean the knife.

"exhilarating isn't it?"

I smile.

"I must say, it was pretty exhilarating."

he raises his eyebrow and leans forward to look me in the eyes.

"huh...they're back to normal."

he shrugs slightly and begins to stand up

"what's back to normal?"

"your eyes. when I grabbed your arm, it wasn't to stop you love, it was for me to look at your eyes, I could tell in the way you fought. you lost yourself. you let your inner demon win. and because you did, they turned black."

I look down at my shoes and fumble with the knife in my hand. he stands up and says one last thing before he leaves,

"I like when you show your true colors, because that's my little lost girl."

his statement doesn't make my blood boil like it normally would have. instead, it makes me feel warm. like I finally might've found my true colors. what if I was as dark as Pan? what if darker? how would Pan take that? all I know is I liked it, I liked being in control.

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OMG???? steph what's going on y u so hatful and dark tf.

I really have nothing other to say other than I have a killer headache rn. anyways. much love

steph