Cute Guys And Their Lies

21: Astonishing Ava

Cute Guys And Their Lies - Ashtonishing Ava!

"Howdy y'all! Welcome to Pete's Pizza Palace! I'm Rodeo Rochelle and I'll be your servin' girl! What would y'all like to sip on?" Her country cowboy accent was terrible, and I cracked a smile at her crooked pigtails.

Who would want to work at a place like this?

"That depends, pretty lady, what do you have?" Kyle's accent was ten times worse than hers but she didn't notice, she was too busy oogling Evan.

And naturally, I wanted her gaze elsewhere.

I coughed to get her attention and I swear I saw Evan smirk at my girlfriend-like behavior. I gave her a sickly sweet smile. "Hey Rodeo Rochelle!" I was totally mocking her, but she didn't seem to notice. "I'm... Astonishing Ava! And I'd like a Really Raspberry Lemonade!"

"Okay!" She was enthusiastic and completely oblivious to my sarcasm.

She took Kyle and Evan's drink orders, gave us menus, and galloped away. When I decided she was a safe distance away, I burst out laughing which the boys soon followed.

"Excuse me ma'am?" I redirected my attention from where Kyle was sticking two straws up his nose and making silly faces to whoever just tapped my shoulder. There was a guy who was dressed as a cowboy.

Except he wasn't anything like Rodeo Rochelle.

This wasn't something to make fun of. He was too fucking hot to make fun of.

"Hey." I sent him my best smile.

"I heard from Pete the Pizza Pig himself that he wants you to be in his next show." His accent was beyond sexy, and it made me wonder if it was real or just well-rehearsed.

"Okay." I agreed without really knowing what I was putting myself into.

"Yeeeee-doggy!" he sent me a grin that put the country sun to shame. "Come with me." He held his arm out like we were gonna square dance across the room.

I linked my arm through his and we seriously dosi-do'ed into a room marked for stage makeup.

Once they had explained to me what I was doing, I felt doomed. They wanted me to get up there and sing and dance with them in front of 50 kids and parents for this little boy's birthday party.

But once I got in the costume, I changed my mind. It wasn't anything like Rodeo Rochelle's bell bottom jeans and ugly leather vest over a poorly faded flannel. Mine consisted of daisy dukes, a cute red plaid shirt that fit a little bit loosely, cowboy boots that were a little too big for me, and a really cute vintage cowgirl hat. I didn't know being country could be hot.

I applied lipstick from some girl who is a professional paid dancer here and she showed me the moves. Surprisingly, it was easy (they can't really teach random crowd dancers difficult choreography in ten minutes backstage) and I caught on.

"You should really consider applying here." The girl who was teaching me the dance told me while we waited to go on.

I was starting to get the jitters. "Um.." How can I say that I don't exactly want to be working at a pig pizzeria for little kids.

"It's not that bad once you get past the accent and screaming little kids." We laughed together.

The announcer's voice grew louder as it saved me from answering the girl. "If you wanna see the Piggy Pete's lemme hear ya'll say 'Yeeeee-doggy'!" The kids complied by yelling their country banter.

All of the paid dancers ran out, leaving me here with the hot cowboy. Alone. In the dark. We didn't talk and he didn't even look at me. He just watched his co-workers dance through the open stage door.