The One Left Behind

The One That Got Away

Chapter 21

Cosette

"Sure thing, Taylor Swift." I joked.

"And gone was the ambience." He deadpanned.

"I know. Its just that... were doing it again!" I lightly pushed him away and walked to the other side of the room. I need space for a rational conversation with him. And being awfully close like that is totally not gonna make me a least bit rational.

"What are we doing... again?" He asked confused.

"Us! This!" I waved my hands in the air pointing at nothing.

Love really has to FCK UP EVERYTHING!

What the fck am I getting myself into again. I haven't even stayed that long here in England and I'm putting myself in a fcked up situation that I thought was finished ten fcking years ago.

"I'm so sorry." I exited the cart.

"Wait!" He followed me out. I shouldn't have asked him to be friends, I should've cut ties with him from the start. I should have...

"I said bloody wait!" He pulled my elbows back. I stopped and huffingly faced him.

"I don't understand. Our feelings are mutual, right?" He asked confusion clouding his eyes. "Right?!"

I closed my eyes and bowed my head dejectedly. "Right." I confirmed. There's no point in lying to him anyway.

"Then why... why are you being so difficult?" He asked more confused than before.

"Because this is still wrong." I whispered, scared as if that they will hear us.

"What do you mean?"

"Ten years might have passed Ry, but it doesn't change the thing that I'm still bethroned to someone out there who probably I haven't ever met." I pulled my elbow back. Staring at the stars that's in his eyes.

"I can't promise a future for the both of us when I don't even know what mine is." I shook my head in disapproval in how fcked up this situation is. "We might have mutual feelings but it doesn't change the fact that even if we stayed together, one day my dad might take me away. This is life Ryan. And it shows no mercy."

His eyes are dead to the world as he pleadingly stared to mine, hands slacking to his side as I turn and walked away. Its better to be real than to one day wake up from a wonderful dream with no sign of coming back.

Ring! Ring!

Its been four weeks. Four whole weeks of holed up here in my apartment. Four weeks of staying here... barely breathing.

I sat on the swing on my balcony in a Tuesday morning staring at nothing. My phone kept ringing and ringing, it would be any second now the answering machine will answer it for me.

Beep....!

"Cosette." Dad's voice echoed through the dark rooms of my unit. I continued to blankly stare at the rising sun as he continued talking.

"Come here in the house around nine. I have something at one, so I can't see you at noon. Come immediately." He talks like I'm just his business partner now... no. He talks to his business partners with more manners and joyful tone than he does to me... now atleast.

Beep...!

I stood under the spray and mindlessly scrubed my skin with the loofah. Its in this moments of silence and simplecity of everyday work I can think a bit sanely.