ch.37 Til the day

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“Why aren’t you excited?” Danny asked bluntly.

I looked down at the letter and read the first line and my name a few more times before looking back up at him.

“I am happy” I lied.

“Angie” he insisted.

“Danny, I’m ok” I told him more firmly.

“You haven’t told Harry, have you?” he both asked and answered.

I swallowed hard and shook my head slowly.

“No” I replied.

“Well I’m sure he’ll be happy for you” Danny told me with a smile.

I nodded.

Danny patted my back and went downstairs.

I got up and splashed water in my face to mask the tears.

I can’t go to Connecticut. I can’t go because I can’t leave Harry. And, because Liam deserved to go. It was his dream, but he never got the chance to live it. Now it was literally in my hands and I didn’t have the guts to live that dream for him. That would be like rubbing salt in the wound.

Danny was in his room studying, so I went downstairs and stared at the T.V.. Images flashed before my eyes, but they didn’t compare to  what I had seen, from the bullet that went to my dad’s heart, to the one that went through Harry, Liam’s black and blue body and-and me.

I turned off the T.V., disgusted by how much they romanticized and down-played human loss and despair. How they made it pretty and even “good.” Made it seem like a simple make-over or a couple thousand dollars could erase all the pain of yesterday.

***

There was a steady knock at the door. It may sound weird, but I knew it was Harry because his hands had a sort of delicate force to them, like he could break the door down as fast as he could put it back together.

Harry stood in the beaming afternoon light in his unbuttoned black leather jacket. The yellow light played in the forest green of his eyes and made them look even brighter than usual. His lips curled into a teasing grin, like a red rose moistened by droplets of rain.

He looked down at my lips and then back up to my eyes and grinned.

“I brought you something sweet” he licked his lips. I looked at his hands and he held about a dozen of his chocolate cupcakes.

He lowered his head closer to mine.

“Did you bring something sweet for me?” he asked with a wink.

I shook my head and looked up at him innocently, as if I had no idea what he was talking about.

His lips parted a bit as slight disappointment came over him.

I glanced down at the cupcakes, then back up at his eyes.

Then I grabbed the cupcakes, kissed his cheek and turned to shut the door teasingly.

Harry held his hand out just in time and he stopped the door from closing.

“You steal my cupcakes and a kiss AND you won’t let me in?” he raised his brows playfully.

“Yes” I laughed and stepped back to let him in.

We sat down on the couch and ate a few of the cupcakes. Actually, more than a few. But we saved about three for Danny.

“You better have saved some for me” Danny warned.

He reached between me and Harry and took two cupcakes in his paw-like fists. Then he nearly swallowed one whole and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.

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