The Castle of Gold [Bk 2]

ch.18 Deserve

I stood in the kitchen and paced around. I paced around and around until I got so dizzy that I had to sit every so often. My asthma had gotten worse the past couple days and Danny got me another inhaler.

And with every passing day, I felt myself growing a poisonous forest of guilt deep in my gut. And every time I saw a flash of gold or chocolate frosting or black webs, I thought about Liam, Harry, and Becky; the people I was lying to and deceiving.

But every time I decided to tell Harry what had happened or reject Liam or let Becky know, I got cold feet at the last second.

A “yes” to Liam would mean a “no” to Harry. And telling Becky the truth would break our friendship- maybe permanently this time.

I just couldn’t save them all from my useless heart. I could only save one.

***

I avoided Liam for a few days, but he kept calling and texting me.

I just needed some time to think. I needed more time, but wishing for more wasted the few precious moments I had.

My heart needed to think, but that was about as likely to happen as my mind feeling emotion. The two worked opposite each other constantly and Liam had confused everything that I had so carefully established with Harry.

I just needed to know what I felt, not what others wanted me to feel. But every time I questioned Liam and how he basically guilted me into letting him k-kiss me, I thought about how Harry had more or less forced our first kiss. It was impossible to think about one and not other.  

I also needed to tell someone what had happened. I needed a third opinion, one that wouldn’t be directly hurt by what I had allowed to take place, even if it was for a moment. So I made a note to talk Niall.

Niall was the first of the boys to find out that Harry and I were seeing each other. And he was also the one that advised Harry to “come clean or go home.” Unfortunately, Harry didn’t get the chance to come clean and did go home, but I did sneak out to go home with him that night….

The knock at the front door made me jump slightly.

Danny opened the door.

“Hi Danny” Liam greeted softly.

I ducked behind the sink and held my breath. I didn’t mean to act so childish, but I was afraid if Lima talked to me again, he would guilt me into marrying him or something drastic like that.

“Is Angela here?” Liam asked.

I peeked from behind the counter and saw that Danny had tightened his grip around the door frame, hoping to intimidate Liam even more than his massive hands or bulging shoulder and chest muscles already did.

Liam swallowed hard.

Danny grinned at his successful attempt at scaring Liam. I fought the urge to nudge Danny for trying to mess with Liam like that.

Danny turned toward the kitchen and was momentarily confused when he saw that I was hiding behind the sink.

I motioned for him to lie and say I wasn’t home.

Danny nodded and turned to Liam.

“She’s doesn’t want to talk” Danny told Liam bluntly.

Liam blinked in confusion of Danny’s honesty.

“She doesn’t?” Liam asked and the slight pain in his voice sunk into my chest, making me feel both stupidly childish for hiding and horrible for hurting him.