ch.4 That dress

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Graduation is about a day away.

I haven’t talked to Harry, even though he’s come by my house every single day. Becky keeps nagging me about what I’m going to wear- not that anyone will see since the robe will cover it. And Danny has gotten into one of his “moods.” The ones where everything I do is wrong and he feels the need to yell at me.

Sometimes I think I’m the only sane person in this bleak town- no- in this blue-black world. Then again, maybe I’m the weirdo and everyone else is just glaring at me, waiting for me to notice the antenna sticking out of my head.

I decided to take “dress” off of my to-do list and am going shopping- or- the equivalent. To be honest, I hate going to the mall, but that’s only because I know I’m going buy something stupid that looks good at the store and then when I take it home, I hate it. I don’t know why that happens, it just does. And it’s annoying, especially when it was on sale.

I shook my head slightly, trying to forget the oncoming images of the last time I had bought a dress… and who had unfortunately noticed it…

The other reason I hate the mall is because there’s only one mall in Westwood and it smells like Auntie Anne’s. I love Auntie Anne’s, but it always tempts me to get a hot pretzel with mustard and then another one and another. And before I know it, my dress size has changed by a smidge.

I walked into Forever 21 and went straight to the jewelry because I’m half-bird; shiny things catch my eye.

I reached for a golden locket when I heard a familiar click-clack of platform heels.

“Angie? Why didn’t you tell me you were gonna be here? We could have come together” she asked with a playful grin.

I almost dropped the necklace, then I put it back on the little rotating gadget.

“Oh. I forgot” I lied and looked down at the necklace, avoiding that web of mascara that so easily whispered the truth out of me.

“Angie, are you mad at me?” Becky asked carefully, but she didn’t sound upset herself. She was probably still buzzing from the fact that she was actually graduating.  (I helped her with her English essay and History project). Which was great; I didn’t want to graduate alone.

“No” I shook my head. “I just didn’t know you would want to come” I answered carefully. I looked down at the golden necklace again, hoping to seem quite casual, but it only made me seem nervous.

“Angie, come on. That’s the worst lie you’ve ever said” she laughed.

I shifted uneasily.

“Come on, I’ll help you pick out something nice” she said with a wink. She took my arm and tugged me along to the dresses.

“Oh, um, that’s ok. I’m not looking for anything really” I lied hopelessly again.

Becky just narrowed those piercing grey eyes. Then she laughed again.

“Angie, you haven’t changed since the first grade” she shook her head slowly at a pleasant, passing memory of us counting crayons and talking for our half-clothed Bratz dolls.

“I guess not” I agreed sheepishly.

Have I really not changed? I don’t know if that’s a compliment or a critique. I guess I’ll take it as both and mull it over in my head when Harry is knocking at my door again, trying to convince me to give up this stupid fight.

But I was trying to make a point. I don’t even know what it is exactly, but I had to protest in some way. Harry got his way almost all the time; he convinced me that I was some kind of majestic and pure creature from Heaven. He could make me believe anything; we were each other’s words unspoken.

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