Big Book Of Sjips One Shots

Dear Diary (S)

TW: Diaries, set in Minecraftia, Swearing

Dear diary,

Today I made diary. I also got a little bit lost, but I found my way back to Dawson's Crack so it's okay. There was also an incident with a creeper, but I iced that joker before it could do any damage to Dawson's towel.

Nobody lives here but me yet, but I want this place to stay in tip top shape for when I do get some visitors. Visitors that aren't skellingtons and endermen, anyway. Actual HUMAN visitors. Wouldn't that be great?

Love, Sjin

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Dear Diary,

Today I made another diary because I lost the other one. I put it in my chest before I went to bed, and I woke up this morning and it was gone? I think a skinny guy took it. But, they can't lift up books, can they?

Anyway, still no visitors today. Well, there was another creeper but there's always another creeper. Unless... Maybe Dawson's Crack has a diary thief? A HUMAN diary thief?! Plot twist!

Love, Sjin

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Dear Diary,

I had to make a third diary today. I think this confirms my diary thief theory. I wish they would show themselves though. It would be nice to talk to someone who could talk back for a change... Not that you're not great and all, diary, but you're not exactly talkative ;P

I hung up some flowers above my bed today. Both sides. Even if the other half is unoccupied though. Maybe one day...

Love, Sjin

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Dear Sjin,

I don't know why you keep putting your diaries in my shizzle wizzle chest, and why you keep calling me a diary thief for removing them, but this is getting ridiculous.

Did Ridge put you up to this?? Or Lalna?? It was Lalna, wasn't it. That bastard is always messing with my stuff!! He and Xephos rigged up my door to explode the other day those sons of bitches. I was planning on renovating anyway and prepare myself for the missle war, but that was just plain rude. I'm going to get them back for this.

And you too if you don't stop with this diary business.

Sips

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Dear Sips,

I'm not putting anything in your chest? I'm putting the diaries in my chest, unless they're being transported to yours somehow? I didn't think this was an enderchest, but I guess I was wrong.

I don't know who any of those people are. They didn't put me up to anything. I say you should ice those jokers anyway. They sound like humongous dicks.

Sjin

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Dear Sjin,

They ARE humongous dicks! I mean, they have small ones, but they are big ones. Obviously because they're over-compensating for having small ones. Obviously. Those fucking bastards. Fupping bar stewards.

I swear if I could fit both of my hands around their necks... I would, Sjin, I would. Nick Cage sent me some missiles today. I wasn't impressed with this display, but it's impossible not to like the Cage. What a guy.

Why are you still sending me your diaries? Did you not get the message?

Sips

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