Heartstopper

Nicks essay

The essay that got Nick into many colleges.

As I grew up, I got to witness a lot of love. Love like screaming , crying and throwing dishes.
There was a time my parents fought every day and every night, while I sat on the top of the stairs.
Every time they fought my mom went quiet and my dad left.
One night after my dad left , my mum came upstairs to go to sleep and caught me. I asked her why they fought and my mum answered:
It's because we love each other.
My four year old self believed it without questioning it. Love means screaming.
A month later my dad left and never came back to live with us.

Even though I believed my mom, I wasn't a dumb kid. I knew this wasn't a healthy love. So I thought either you're gonna end up alone or decide for a unhealthy love.
I didn't know what was worse.
Then a lot changed as I met Tara. Tara was a girl and I just liked her but that didn't change a thing. We never really ended up together , however I met her again as she was in a relationship with Darcy.
They were the first love, I ever witnessed which was happy and healthy. They laughed and they loved but they also screamed and cried. First it was great but later it made me question myself .
Was I the reason the relationships , which was around me, were unhappy?
Is it me ?

This would have stayed if I haven't met Charlie.
Charlie Spring changed my whole life. Since the first second I met him, he was nice and loving.
He always knew exactly who he was.
I'm not gonna tell you the whole story of how I found out I was bi because this is a whole another story.
The important thing is Charlie stayed and he helped.
He understood and was patient and everything I needed and more.
After the first fight I was afraid. I thought it was over . I thought he would leave me.
He didn't.
He stayed.
He came back to me.
As he came back , I cried in his arms for hours.
That's when I learned:
We fight and we still love each other.
We fight because sometimes there happens annoying things BUT not because we love each other.

Everyday I learn something new with Charlie and we fight.
We fight because I spend too much time with rugby. We fight because Charlie has a bad mood sometimes.
But we never leave .

So I guess the thing I learned in my life is, that love is complicated but love is not a bad feeling. If it is, then it isn't real love.
-Nick Nelson

You know what's real love ? My love for you !
200k thank you so so much. I love you all and I'm so lucky, that I get to experience this kindness and support from you all.
Thank you so so much, you changed my life !