Jefferson Lake (MBBF Spin-Off)

Chap. 33

But I've proven again and again that I can't fix myself.

"He's filed a lawsuit against Cornerstone," I said, looking over at her. "For their negligence I guess."

I hadn't really told McKenna anything that happened at Cornerstone. Anything about my suicide attempt.

Because I couldn't even face it. So how am I supposed to tell anyone else about it?

"Okay," McKenna agreed, though it was clear she was a bit confused.

"And I sort of lost it," I admitted, my voice shaking.

McKenna's eyes swept the room, her gaze landing on the towel on the ground.

It was the only thing out of place, but it fallen so that you couldn't see any of the blood.

She stood up and made her way over to the towel.

I wanted to tell her to stop, to reach out and hold her close to me.

But I let her go.

She went to pick up the towel and hang it back on the rack, but her eyes widened as it unfolded in front of her.

She stared at the hand towel for a few moments, registering what it meant.

Registering what I'd done.

And then she looked in the sink, at the razor that was still in there.

She didn't say anything. She just simply tossed the towel into the trash can, along with the razor, and then pulled the trash bag out, knotting it up.

I wanted to tell her that there were more razors in the closet. There were a pack of them.

But I couldn't bring myself to do it.

And then she knelt down in front of me, kissing my cheek before taking first my left hand in hers and flipping it over.

Nothing.

With trembling hands, she then took my right hand in hers, and I closed my eyes, the tears falling down my cheeks.

"It's alright," she promised, offering me a small smile. "Relapses happen."

I shook my head.

She went into my closet, pulling out a washcloth and ran it under the water. She put some soap on it and came back over to me.

She traced her fingers down the side of my cheek. "I'm going to clean it, okay?"

I didn't have the energy even to nod at this point, feeling completely drained.

She pushed back my bracelets, her gaze never flinching as she cleaned my fresh wound. Then she made her way over to my desk, pulling out the First Aid kit and applying a piece of gauze to it.

I think that was for me than anything, so I wouldn't have bare, open skin on at least one arm.

"Does Parker..." McKenna started.

And all I could do was shake my head, leaning against the metal bed frame.

I just felt so tired.

"Why don't you lie down?" McKenna suggested, snagging a pillow from my bed and putting it down on the futon. "You've had an exhausting morning."

I hated that she had to take care of me like this.

She took a blanket from the bottom of my closet, handing it to me. "Get some rest, okay? I'm going to come back later."

I did as she told me to do, my eyes almost immediately slipping shut.

All I wanted to do was disappear into a blissful sleep. Forget all about this.