Fragile Heart

27

"Mon Dieu, putain d'enfer," Charles curses over the phone in French.

"Charlie, what should I do?" I ask, my voice trembling with fear and worry. As i sit on my knees in the bed alone while Lando is in the shower.

I found out about Liam. Somehow, he won Grand Prix tickets, and now he's here, in China, where I am.

"Didn't you block him, Stel?" Charles yelled, his frustration evident. I knew it was a bad idea to tell him about it, but I had to. Maybe I should've told Alex instead, but she has no idea how Liam treated me.

"I did, on his private account, not his public one..." I admitted quietly, sensing Charles's growing displeasure.

"Charles, please stop getting angry! I wanted to come to you to give me advice, not be a total asshole about—" My words are cut off as Lando enters the room.

I sit in the middle of the bed on my knees as I look up at him with a blank expression. "What is all the yelling?" He questions as I watch him walk over and pull a shirt over his head.
God that man's body is absolutely crazy.

But I have no words to say. I also haven't talked to him at all since last night, since I got one of my fucking nightmares and cuddled with him.

I'm honestly glad he's not bringing it up otherwise this would be awkward.

I gulp and open my mouth to start talking until Charles interrupts. "Is that Liam!? Is everything okay! Stella!" He yells through the phone, and I just want to fall into my pillow and scream.

By Landos facial expression he definitely heard what Charles said.

"Liam..." he says quietly as he stares at me, his gaze searching for an explanation in my eyes. I hesitate, before going for the safest option.

I ignore Lando's stare, returning my focus to my call with Charles, that it's about to end.

"Charles no it's not, goodbye brother." I end the call with Charles, Then retreating to the bathroom, closing the door behind me and intentionally avoiding Lando's gaze.

As I undress, I hear banging on the door, which surprises me. Why does Lando care about who I talk to on the phone?

"Stella, please open." He says softly.

I turn on the shower, muffling his words, but before stepping in, I walk up to the door and press my ear against it.

Now perfectly hearing what he's saying.

"Angel, is it because last night you're ignoring me? Trust me, I won't bring it up, but I just want to know why you were yelling again with Charles, and I definitely want to know who Liam is," he says softly.

I smile then pull away from the door and step into the shower, letting the hot, steamy water cascade down my back as I try to figure out what to do about fucking Liam.

He knew what he was doing when he posted that picture. He knew I still followed his public account. He wanted to scare me, and I think it's working because now I'm more nervous than ever. Especially now that Lando wants to know who Liam is, I just have no idea what to do.

|~~~~~|

"So..." Lando says quietly as we sit at breakfast together.

I still haven't talked to him. I don't even know how I did it, but somehow I've been able to ignore him all morning. The tension between us is crazy, and I can feel Lando's gaze lingering on me, waiting for a response.

I start to pull apart some bacon and pop it into my mouth to avoid Lando's questions. The distraction of eating helps.

"What was that all about?" Lando says, furrowing his brows and holding his hands together. His tone is gentle, but I can sense the concern.

I gulp down my last piece of bacon and look up at him, finally making eye contact. I know I can't avoid this conversation any longer.

"Nothing," I say quietly, almost a whisper, I'm not sure if he even heard me.

He scoffs and shakes his head. "Stella, you can't say it was nothing. After last night, you've been—" I cut him off pretty quickly.

"Lando, please just stop. It has nothing to do with last night! Just let it go," I say, trying my best to stay calm, but all my mixed emotions are getting to me. All this stress, I hate it.

He puts his hands up in defense and chuckles. Knowing him, he probably thinks I'm playing a joke on him, but really I'm not. My frustration and anxiety are genuine, and I wish he could see that.

"Calm down," he laughs, popping some eggs into his mouth.

I sit there for a few seconds, just watching him eat his stupid eggs, until I've had enough. I pull out of the chair and just walk away, unable to bear the tension any longer.

It wasn't even his fault. I shouldn't even  be mad at him because he doesn't understand the situation at all with Liam, but I can't help it. My emotions are all over the place.

"Stella...!?" I hear my name drift off into a whisper as I walk further away.

Gosh, I wish I could tell him, but I can't. I'm not telling Lando about my fucked up past with him. The thought of opening up makes me sick, I'm like a closed book that can never be opened, the only person that was able to open that was Charles, but even him I don't share things with.