Our Little Secret

Chapter 38

"Hey guys," Isabel said as she sat down next to me and across from Ava.

"Hi," I said quietly.

Ava gave her a slight grin, but she didn't say anything. I was thankful that Isabel had been thinking enough to not show me any type of affection when she came in. I knew that would make this much worse.

"Thanks for letting me come Ava," Isabel said.

"Sure," Ava responded.

She continued to look down at her water glass, unable to make eye contact with either of us.

"I'll give you guys a minute," I said as I pushed my chair back from the table.

"No don't - " Ava started, "I mean - you can stay."

"Oh," I said hesitantly, "okay, if you're sure."

She nodded at me as I moved my chair back up to the table. Isabel gave me a quick glance out of the corner of her eye before she started talking.

"Okay um," she started, "I'll make this quick and then leave you guys alone, but really I just wanted to make sure I apologized."

Ava nodded slightly, but she still didn't look up at Isabel.

"I know I've mentioned this before," she continued, "but I want to make sure you know that it wasn't like I started to have feelings for Skylar right after we started dating or anything."

Isabel paused and gave Ava a chance to respond, but she stayed quiet.

"I um, when I started to like her I - well I liked you both, and it was really confusing for me, that's why I broke up with you. It was hard to be around both of you so much when I was feeling the way I did," Isabel said.

I wanted to comfort both Ava and Isabel, but I felt like all I could do was sit there in silence.

"I never planned on acting on anything with Skylar after we broke up," Isabel continued, "it's not like that was my goal or anything, it just kind of - I don't know it just happened once I saw her again."

Ava fidgeted uncomfortably in her chair, and I waited to see if Isabel had anything else that she was going to say.

"I'm really sorry, for all of this," she said, keeping her eyes on Ava, "I feel like this is my fault, and I feel terrible. I really needed to make sure you knew that, so I - thanks again for letting me come and talk to you."

I looked between the two of them, and I couldn't remember a time where I'd felt more uncomfortable than I did now. The three of us sitting here was making me think of the times we spent together when Ava and Isabel were together.

I wished that Ava would come around enough for us to be able to all hang out again, but I knew that was an extremely long shot.

Isabel glanced over at me again before pushing her chair back from the table.

"I'll let you guys go, thanks again Ava," she said.

As she stood up, Ava's gaze finally met hers.

"Thanks for apologizing," she said quietly to Isabel.

Isabel nodded and gave her a slight smile before she left.

I let out a deep exhale as she walked away, feeling relieved to have that over with.

"I know she already said thanks," I said, "but I appreciate it too."

"Yeah, sure," Ava said, seeming to relax a little bit.

"I really do want to get past this, I'm trying but - it's not easy," she continued, "it's going to take some time."

"Take all of the time that you need," I said as I shook my head, "I don't want you to feel like I'm forcing you to do anything."

"This is honestly a lot more than I ever expected you to be able to do, the fact that you have means a lot to me," I continued.

Ava nodded as we tried our best to get past the awkwardness of the situation.

"I um - this is weird for me to say," Ava started, "but I can see how you two would be good for each other."

"What? Really?" I said as I raised my eyebrows.

"Yeah I mean - her and I obviously weren't," she said, "but knowing you and knowing her...I - yeah, you know what I mean."

I grinned at her as the waiter came over to take our order. He brought the drinks to us a few minutes later, and we both sipped on them in silence.

Ava set her drink down and looked up at me.

"So I've been thinking about the whole living situation," she said.

I gulped down the drink that I had just taken and waited for her to continue.

"I don't want you to have to move again."

"You - you don't?" I asked.

"No, of course not Skylar," Ava said as she shook her head, "I don't want anything to be different like this, but it is."

"Oh, right," I nodded.

"No I just mean - " Ava sighed, "you don't have to move out, but I'm not exactly ready for you to come back yet."

"Wow that's - yeah I can handle that," I stuttered, "thanks."

"We've been friends for way too long for me to give up on you that easily," Ava said with a slight grin.

I let out a sigh of relief as my shoulders slumped forward and I rested my head in my hands. I could feel tears starting to well up in my eyes, and I wasn't even completely sure why.

I was relieved, happy, and still felt guilty all at the same time. I wiped away a tear from my face as I looked up at Ava.

"What's wrong?" She asked, "did I - "

"No, nothing," I quickly said, "I've just been so stressed out about this, and I'm so fucking relieved now."

"For a while I didn't even think you'd talk to me again," I continued, "and I wouldn't have blamed you, so this is just - yeah, shit."

I knew I wasn't making much sense, but there were so many emotions going through my brain right now that I couldn't focus.

"I really didn't know how things were going to work out either, or if they would," Ava said, "but I think...I think we can handle this, even if it takes a while."

"You're the fucking best Ava," I said with a grin, "you know that, right?"

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