Our Little Secret

Chapter 25

"This is just too fucking complicated," I said as I looked over at Isabel, "and it's making me feel terrible.

"Too complicated...yeah," she trailed off.

"No I - " I started before I let out a sigh, "I've had a lot of fun with - with whatever we have going on."

"But?" Isabel said expectantly.

"But," I said, "I really don't know Isabel, is it worth it?"

"Well damn Skylar," Isabel responded with a sigh.

"I didn't mean it that way," I said.

"Well how did you mean it then?" She asked.

"I mean that this is killing me," I sighed, "because I like you, but I can't stand doing this to Ava."

I waited for Isabel to respond, but she just laid there, looking up at the ceiling.

"I'm not saying I want it to stop or anything," I continued, "we just have to figure something out."

"Yeah...I guess you're right," she said quietly.

"You said that you understood that this was a lot harder for me, right?" I asked her, "just think about how I'm feeling with all of this."

"Yeah I get that you don't think it's worth it, okay? You don't have to keep reiterating that," Isabel said as she got up from the bed.

"Isabel, that's not what I'm saying," I quickly responded.

"Just wanted to have sex a couple of times and then be done with it before it got too difficult, right?" Isabel snapped back.

"Jesus Isabel," I said in an exasperated voice, "is that seriously what you think I'm doing?"

"I - no, I'm sorry," she said as her tone relaxed, "I'm just frustrated."

"Yeah, you don't think I am too?" I asked as I laid my head back on the pillows.

"I know, I shouldn't have said that, I'm sorry," Isabel said as her voice grew quieter.

"It's fine," I muttered.

"I better get going before we have a repeat of any of this," Isabel said as she got dressed.

I sat up and nodded, swinging my legs over the side of the bed to stand up.

"Probably a good idea," I said.

I walked over and opened my door for her and we walked to the front of the house. I could feel the uncomfortable air between us as we both thought about the situation that we were in. I think we knew there wasn't an easy solution.

"Talk to you soon I guess?" Isabel said as we approached the front door.

"Yes, you will," I said to her reassuringly as I opened it for her.

"Okay, good," she responded as she leaned in and gave me a quick kiss.

I watched her walk out to her Uber before shutting the door. I leaned against it and put my head back as I let out a sigh.

What a fucking morning.

I went to shower and get cleaned up before Ava got home again. I was really hoping that she wouldn't ask me any other questions about my house guest that she had almost walked in on this morning, but I somehow doubted I'd get that lucky.

I stood in the shower and let the hot water run over my body and let my thoughts wander. Part of me knew that all of this would be so much easier if I just told Ava everything, but I had to make sure that it was worth it.

I obviously had feelings for Isabel, but it was too early on to know exactly where this thing between us was going. I had to take the time to see if it was worth completely blowing up my friendship for.

***

I was sitting at the kitchen counter a while later, drinking coffee and scrolling through my phone when Ava came home.

"Hey," I said as I glanced up at her.

I saw her looking around cautiously, and I raised my eyebrows at her, trying to figure out what she was doing.

"Looking for something?" I asked her.

"Oh you know, just making sure I'm not interrupting you and any of your visitors again," she said as she smirked at me.

"Shut the fuck up," I said with a laugh, "it wasn't a big deal."

"Well you're the one who made it seem like it was!" She said in response.

"That's what happens when you come home and scare the shit out of me," I told her, "just caught me a little bit off guard."

"Okay, fair," Ava said.

"Especially when I had a naked girl laying in my bed," I responded as I took a sip of my coffee.

"Fair again," Ava shrugged.

"Yeah exactly," I responded, "I was still sleeping when you came home, what did you expect from me?"

"Well I didn't know that!" Ava said defensively.

"No it's fine," I quickly said, "I just meant that's why you scared me so fucking much."

"Oh, right," she said, "my bad."

She gave me an innocent smile and I shook my head at her as I continued to sip on my coffee.

"So who was it anyway?" Ava asked, "that you had in your bed I mean."

I was mid drink and nearly spit my coffee out on to the counter in front of me. Just when I thought we were done with this conversation.

"It was um..." I hesitated.

Ava looked at me expectantly, waiting for me to finish my answer.

"Skylar Renee," she said as her mom voice started to come out, "please do not tell me that you don't even know the girl's name!"

"I - no! That's not it, sorry, I do," I stuttered, "Jennifer, her name is Jennifer."

My boss' name, Jen, was the only one that quickly came to my mind, so I went with it.

"Apparently Jennifer wasn't very exciting or you would've remembered her name right away," Ava teased.

"Oh my God, that's not it!" I said.

"I know," Ava laughed, "I'm just giving you shit. Anyway, how did you meet her?"

Jesus, most of the time Ava didn't want to hear about the details of my sex life that I tried to share with her. Now she was suddenly all about it. Was she really just curious, or could she sense that I was hiding something from her?

"I was out at a bar, just started talking to her there," I lied, "we were having fun and were both drunk so...here we are."

"Very romantic," Ava said.

"Hey, you asked," I grinned, "I told you I just met her, you knew it wasn't going to be some love story."

"Okay true," Ava said, "you going to see her again? Maybe it would be good for you to start dating again."

"Okay mom," I said jokingly, "and I don't really know, probably not."

"Just saying!" Ava responded, "I mean I know I'm single too, maybe we both need to find someone nice to date."

"Mhm, something like that," I said.

Poor Ava, I thought to myself, if you only fucking knew.

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