Our Little Secret

Chapter 34

I set my phone down and leaned my head back with a sigh. I knew I didn't need to count on anything back from Ava.

"Oh shit, dinner, right," I said as I sat up and grabbed my phone again.

I saw Isabel grinning at me out of the corner of my eye as I looked up the menu to decide what I wanted.

"I don't know, what's good from this place?" I asked her.

"Uhh, they have a lot of good stuff, I usually get the sesame chicken though," she said.

"Yeah that sounds good, I'll just do that," I sighed, "I don't have the energy to make any decisions."

"You sure?" Isabel asked.

"Positive, that sounds fine," I said.

"Okay, I'll order it now then," Isabel responded as she took out her phone.

The dynamic between us was very weird, and I didn't know how to deal with it. Once Isabel had ordered our dinner, she glanced over at me.

"Is there um, is there anything I can do to make this better?" She asked, "I mean with my fuck up or with Ava?"

"I don't think so," I said as I shook my head, "just have to give it time I guess."

Isabel nodded, but she didn't say much else until our food was delivered.

After we ate, she looked at the birthday cake sitting on the counter, and then at my somber expression.

"Damn it, I had this whole birthday celebration planned you know," she said.

I did my best to muster a smile before I responded, "it's the thought that counts, that's what they say, right?"

"Yeah, but - no you're right, some other time," she said, "do you still want cake though?"

"Sure, I don't ever say no to cake," I said.

"Okay good, at least this won't go to waste then," she said as she began to cut us each a slice.

We ate our cake in silence as we both felt the tension still lingering in the air.

"I think I might just go to bed," I said once I was finished.

"Okay, I'll be in soon," Isabel nodded, "use whatever you need to in the bathroom."

"Thanks," I mumbled as I got up and walked towards her room.

I grabbed my bag on the way by as I checked my phone again. I knew that I wasn't going to see any type of response from Ava, but I was still trying to hold out hope.

Nothing.

I tossed my phone on the bed as I walked into Isabel's room and stood there for a moment. I'd decided not long ago that being with Isabel would be worth all of this, but I was beginning to question my decision.

I got changed and finished getting ready for bed a few minutes later. It wasn't that late, but this was all that I felt like doing.

A little while after I was settled, Isabel quietly came into the room.

"I'm awake, you're fine," I said.

"Okay, just making sure," she responded.

I laid there as she took most of her clothes off and climbed into bed next to me. I started to get flashbacks of the night that we shared our first drunken kiss, and took things too far in this bed.

After everything that had happened today, it almost made me mad to think about it.

"What's going through that pretty little head of yours?" Isabel asked me as she settled her body next to mine.

"Thinking about the last time we were in this bed together," I said, "do you think any of this would've happened if we hadn't kissed that night?"

"Well I - " Isabel started before pausing to consider her answer, "I guess I don't know, if we still hung out like we did then maybe."

"I'm not sure how much longer I could've pretended that we were just friends," she continued.

"Yeah, I guess that's probably true," I said.

"Did you..." Isabel hesitated, "did you ever have feelings for me - or think of me in that way before all of this?"

"No," I quietly admitted.

"So this really is all on me, isn't it?" She asked.

"Isabel, no," I said as I shook my head in the dark, "I started questioning how I was feeling about you shortly after we started hanging out again, it's not like you forced me to do that."

"Yeah, I guess not," she sighed, "I still feel bad about it though."

"You can feel bad about not telling me about you and Ava," I said, only partially teasing, "but not about that."

"Fair," she said as she reached over and rested her arm on my waist.

"I know it's under shitty circumstances," Isabel continued, "but I like having you here."

"Yeah, I guess that's at least one positive about all of this," I agreed, "there's not much else."

I heard Isabel lightly sigh next to me, and her fingers ran along the bottom of my back.

"Hey let me give you one more thing for your birthday," she said, "lay on your stomach."

I looked at her questioningly and was hesitant to oblige. If it was something sexual she had in mind, I really wasn't in the mood.

"Come on, just do it," she continued as she sat up in bed.

"Alright, fine," I finally said.

I rolled over on to my stomach and laid my head on the pillow in front of me. I felt Isabel move over top of me and put her legs on either side of my waist.

She slid her hands under my shirt and trailed them up my waist and back.

"Isabel, I'm not really - " I started.

"Just relax for a minute, would you?" She said quietly into my ear, cutting me off.

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, realizing that she was just trying to give me a massage. Yeah I suppose I could accept that.

Her hands applied pressure as they made their way up and down my back, and on to my shoulders. Once I was able to relax, I finally felt some of the tension I'd been holding all day being released.

Isabel's hands continued to work over my bare skin, and she had me convinced that she was a masseuse in some former life. Just as I was starting to doze off, I felt her climb off of my back and pull my shirt down.

She settled back in next to me as I opened my eyes slightly to look at her.

"Goodnight birthday girl," she whispered as she leaned in to kiss me.

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