The Heart Wants What It Wants

♡ PROLOGUE ♡

❝ ʙᴇɪɴɢ ᴀ ɢᴏᴏᴅ ғᴀᴛʜᴇʀ sᴛᴀʀᴛs ᴡɪᴛʜ ʀᴇsᴘᴇᴄᴛɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄʜɪʟᴅ's ᴍᴏᴛʜᴇʀ ❞

~~~

🇬 🇦 🇧 🇷 🇮 🇪 🇱 🇱 🇦 :

Two years earlier; April 2013.

The familiar sound of muffled yells wake me up in a cold sweat. Dad yelling. Mom begging for him to listen. It's been going on like this for years, and at this point, I'm desperate for them to divorce.

Although it's been happening since I was ten, it seems as though it's lasted all my life. I hate being around them when they're like this. Dad throws things around the house; grandma's china, swear words, metal utensils. And mom begs him to stop— to listen.

On the bright side, it's started to become a source to wake me up from my nightmares. In them, I dream about being stalked. It's always the same person or shadow, I should say. I never see their face, only dark, feral eyes staring from a distance.

It's a reoccurring dream from events I've experienced day to day. Someone is constantly watching me— or at least I think someone is. It could all be in my head.

It's been happening for almost four years— the feeling of eyes watching my every move. I can feel it now even as I sit in my dampened pajamas and dampened sheets. I still feel eyes burning into the side of my face. And when I turn my head to look out my window, nothing. There's never anything or anyone there.

I decide it's best I close my curtain and pretend there's no one there, because there could very well be no one there. I could be going insane. When I make my way back to my bed, the yelling suddenly stops and, in its place, sits a deafening silence.

And although I'm supposed to be relieved—they've finally stopped—worry still clouds my brain. Drowns me from the inside out. I try my best to count to ten, and when no sound is heard, my breathing suddenly picks up. My lungs burn as if I'd just ran a marathon, and I find my hands shaking uncontrollably on my lap.

Somewhere deep down inside of me, I find the courage to stand on my shaky limbs and make my way downstairs. I descend the stairs as quietly as humanly possible. The only sound that is heard is the soft hum of the TV still playing and the unsteady beating of my heart.

A deep groan ricochets off the hollow walls of the house, stopping my movements instantly. One, two, three, seconds, and it happens again, only this time a little louder. My feet move at its own accord, and after a few more steps, I stop. Peering into the living room with a caution that floods my entire nervous system. The light from the TV blinds me, but I attempt to peer around, looking for the person emitting those sounds.

I hear his voice before I see him, "This is what happens—" he says, letting a low rumble pass his lips. "—when you disobey my orders." His voice is unnervingly calm.

My lungs are robbed of oxygen when I see it. Sweat beads trickle down my spine. He's on top of her, fully naked. The bottom half of mom's body is up in the air as he shoves himself roughly into her. "This is what happens—" Dad says, pulling mom's top half up so that his mouth is by her ear. "—when you cheat on me and fall pregnant with another man's child." And that's when I realize why it's so quiet, mom is unconscious. While he rapes her.

My eyes burn with unshed tears as I press my hand against my mouth to stop the sob that bubbles in my throat. I want to look away, but I can't. I want to stop him, but I can't. I'm frozen in place as I witness it all unfold in front of me.

I can feel my hand shaking against my mouth as my chest burns with anxiety, anger, hatred, fear, and sadness, all at once. And when it feels like forever that I'm frozen in place, it's like adrenaline is shoved down my throat at the sight of blood running down mom's legs.