𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐑𝐄𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐂𝐄𝐃 𝐆𝐑𝐎𝐎𝐌 (on-hold)

35: Something to remember

"She's my cousin, Zoya, seriously. I see her as no one—

"But she doesn't, Nischay." a decibel raised in my voice certainly, my eyes crinkling water. "She doesn't see you as no one. You never know what she intends upon, being given of what she's done before." 

I do not realize what I've said, until the realization hits and Nischay questions. "What has she done?" the cripple in his tone, rasp within his posture, terribly raging. "Did she say anything to you?" He says again. 

"Doesn't matter—

"It does fucking matter, Zoya." Nischay is suddenly a blazing inferno, awaiting only a flicker of wrong ember.

"I've trusted you all along, Nischay." I grapple upon the weight of my ache, fingers momentarily brushing against his jaw. "I've trusted you blindly since the first day we'd met. I had been sure that you wouldn't do anything to hurt me. I hadn't expected anything in this marriage, yet you blossomed every joy in my life. And now for good when I'm awaiting a new dawn to blossom between us, you turn me down every time." 

I gulp, hard and rough, the ache left so bruising it ripped off my throat. "Tell me how to trust you blindly now, Nischay. You promise to never hurt me again but hurt me anyway."

Nischay is smiling, a hurt one. A sight almost surreal.

He swallows hard, perhaps preparing himself to utter the heart-breaking words. I hurt him again, and I should've killed myself for this. 

Forgetting a date wasn't a crime, was it? I shouldn't be hurt I thought. But then, Nischay.

"You have to trust me, Zoya." the hurt, quite familiarly visible in his eyes as he speaks. It's that unspoken ache I've seen in his eyes when he was unable to open up. Every time.  "Because I'm trusting you, blindly even."

I chuckle, "That's maybe because I never have and never will do anything to hurt you or break your trust, Nischay."

"That's where you're wrong, love."

He's hurt. So hurt it almost kills me.

Nischay silently leaves me, starts to walk away, without explaining himself. But this time, my reflex attained my heart, my head. 

"Do anything but leave, Nischay. Please." I beg him, lashes drenching as I held him close to me. He's stiff, angry, hurt and a lot more the way I see him silent.

"What do you want, Zoya. For real this time." 

I wrap my arms around him, gripping him tight and being certainly sure of my words. "You, always and forever." I smile, look up at him and press a kiss to his jaw. "I want us in every universe."

Nischay chuckles, slowly pushing me away from him. "I highly doubt that."

He walks away into the closet silently and opens his cupboard. I follow him, because I need an answer. He can't deny my love just like that. 

"What's this about seriously, Nischay?" I follow him everywhere, calling his name again and again but he ignores me. He grabs the towel and walks toward the bathroom. Now suddenly wanting to take a goddamn shower.

"Don't ignore me, asshole." I stand before him, pin him against the cupboard and look straight up into his eyes. "Talk to me." I grit my teeth, "Tell me what's hurting you and I'll fix it. I'll make myself better I promise."

"You're perfect, Zoya." Nischay chuckles and cups my cheek. "It's me who doesn't deserve you actually." He pushes past me and starts walking again.

"No." I shake my head following him. "Shut the fuck up and tell me the real thing."