Talking to the moon

Chapter 46

"Yeah?"

"I feel like I was played. They were never great parents,"

"Understatement of the century."

"No, like I mean before all this. We weren't ever super close but I think I just wanted them to love me. And it's never really gone away. Then Eunha passed and I felt like I lost everything all over again." Yunjin went quiet. "I feel stupid right now."

"You're not stupid."

"I keep replaying the same thing in my head. Everything that's happened to you is your fault. That can't be true. Right?" Yunjin let her fingers dance around through Chaewon's hair.

"No. It's not. If you really want to put blame somewhere it's them. It's on them. Even if they didn't agree with you, they should've tried to understand, or something. Don't listen to what they say, they're wrong." Chaewon whispered, "I mean it. Please don't let this be one of those things that you let eat at you. You're such a good person Yunjin, I love you so much. And you've been through a lot, but you tried your best through all of it."

For once, Yunjin felt comforted by that. She believed that. "Okay."

"I do have something to ask you too," Chaewon hummed, "The other day my dad dropped the tree, you got scared."

"I did." She couldn't explain it. It was just loud and she was already a bit on edge with Chaewon's mom sitting right there next to her, the moment it sounded through their apartment she couldn't breathe.

"Are you doing okay?" Chaewon asked her this often. It was more nice than annoying most of the time. She was just trying to check in with her. Yunjin liked to try and do the same.

"Yeah," Yunjin shrugged, "I just don't like loud noises too much. It makes me feel like I'm back in the moment. I sound crazy."

"No, I get it." Chaewon went quiet for a minute, "Is there anything I can do to help?"

"No, I'm just going to keep getting help. Hopefully it'll just go away."

"Yunjin, things just don't go away. Especially things like this." Chaewon sighed, "What do you want to do for New Years then?"

"Huh? I don't know. Why did you get invited somewhere? I can just watch Eunchae if you want to go and enjoy yourself."

"No, but thank you for the offer. I'm thinking there's going to be a lot of fireworks, are you going to be able to handle the noise? I don't want to see you cry because it's too much, I hate seeing you cry."

"Maybe I can just play some music through my headphones and chill in our room?"

"I don't know. I'll think of something. Okay?"

"Okay." Yunjin mused.

"Are you sleepy?"

"A little." Yunjin murmured, "Talk to me about our wedding."

"Well, I know you want a small wedding and that's what I want too. So we can rent out a cute little hall for a night and invite our friends and my family, and even some of Eunchae's friends because I know you don't like to stay out too late."

"I do-"

"No you don't. It's okay." Chaewon giggled, "I was thinking Eunchae could be our flower girl, and maybe even Kyujin. They'd look so cute in the fluffy dresses. And my dad is going to walk me down the aisle and then I'll wait. Then you're going to come down the aisle and everyone is gonna think I'm the one to start crying first, but no it's going to be you because you're a sap. Then we're gonna say our vows and mine are going to be so good, and yours is gonna be 'I love you. Let's love each other forever.' But that's okay cause that's so you. And then we'll kiss as Sakura starts sobbing because she's dramatic and then we'll be Mrs. and Mrs.- actually what are doing about that.