Talking to the moon

Chapter 15

Today Eunchae seemed to not even be interested in the gummies, or her own snack, cute homemade ants on a log in a pretty green plastic container, opting to lay her head down on the desk instead. She looked completely and utterly exhausted. Eunchae normally had a hard time paying attention in class, but this was something different. Hanni got up from behind her own desk making her way over to Eunchae's, placing her hand on it first as a warning that she was there so the girl wasn't startled, "You feeling okay Eunchae?"

"I'm just sleepy." Eunchae hummed back, pressing her face further into her arms.

"Do you want me to call Ms.Sakura so you can go home and sleep?"

"No!" Yunjin exclaimed, sitting up with heavy sleepy eyes, "I want to get picked up at the end of the day."

"You're falling asleep buddy." Hanni cut in, squatting down to rest her chin on the desk making herself eye level with Eunchae, she seemed to calm down whenever she did that, "Don't you want to just go home and get some sleep?"

"I'm okay."

"Do you feel safe at your new home?" Hanni pressed, "Do you feel scared and you can't sleep or will they not let you sleep?"

"I don't want to sleep alone."

That was probably the first confession Hanni had ever gotten out of the child, and honestly, she had no idea what to do with that information. There was only so much she could do, she couldn't overstep and say, hey how about one of you sleep in the kid's room. She just sighed and stroked the girl's hair, "If you want to take a nap here I won't mind, you can go over to the beanbag chairs. And Kyujin can go over too if she wants and do her work from there. After a silent discussion, Eunchae and Kyujin were heading over to the beanbag chairs, an important feat because they were only reserved for people who could get ten gold stars. Kyujin looked comfy, Eunchae was sprawled out in no time, passed out reaching over to grab Kyujin's hand.

It wasn't much, but it was the best Hanni could do.

***

With a satisfied hum, Sakura tacked the polaroid to her cubicle, smiling as it joined her collection of others. This was her first one with Eunchae, the detective crouched down next to her as they both looked up at the camera and smiled. They took this when Kookeu was on a walk, right after Eunchae and Kazuha were done playing around, almost giving Sakura a heart attack as Kazuha held her upside down. Eunchae loved it, giggling and asking to do it again, Sakura was quick to refuse to cause both her girls to pout.

She sat back in her desk and sighed, looking up at the picture. The last week admittedly had been rough. Eunchae's a good kid, they both knew that, but they definitely underestimated the number of problems she would have. Sure they knew that she would have some issues, it was only natural, but she seemed to have problem after problem and they weren't sure how to solve it. Last night, for example, they were playing Mario Kart, but apparently Sakura had gotten too loud causing the child to burst into tears, hiding behind her penguin. It took fifteen minutes to calm her down. She was stressed and overwhelmed, Sakura tried to remind herself of that.

And Zuha was being so headstrong about certain things. Eunchae couldn't sleep in their bed, Eunchae couldn't just eat whenever she wanted to, she needed to do her homework before she could play. Sakura got it, she was just trying to create some structure in the child's life, a sense of stability. Kazuha's parents were strict, and while Kazuha had expressed that she didn't want to be as strict, for someone like Eunchae maybe having more strict boundaries would help her. It wasn't like she just said these things, she tried to help as well. Kazuha set a certain snack time, and made sure she prepared food that Eunchae would like beforehand, she would sit there and help her try to figure out her homework, the only thing she wouldn't budge on was the bed thing, so Sakura had tried to take care of that. Her neck still ached from laying on the kid's floor for an hour as she waited for her to fall asleep, when she eventually did not even thirty minutes after Sakura had slipped into bed Eunchae was already there asking to climb in. It was just exhausting. Plus how much she asked about Yunjin, she could tell Kazuha was starting to get a little annoyed. It was a new experience for all three of them and they were trying to do the best they could.

The detective took a quick glance over to where Yunjin was sitting, scrolling through something on her computer. She looked tired too. It was starting to unnerve her a bit. Especially after she cried over her house, that was so out of character of her. Yunjin didn't mention it, and neither did Sakura. But she still found herself grabbing two lollipops off her desk, walking over to the younger detective and sat down, holding out a lollipop. Yunjin just looked up at her, irritation written all over her face. She's never as subtle with her emotions as she thinks. The younger just looked back at her computer, "I actually had something to ask you."

This piqued Sakura's interest, "Yeah?"

"Can I borrow Eunchae on saturday? I want to take her to meet Eunha."

What? She didn't even invite Sakura to go with her to see Eunha. "Y-yeah, that's okay."

"Okay."

There was something wrong. Sakura knew it. She could tell. The little bubble of anxiety that was always there when she thought of her friend started to increase, making her palms sweaty. Yunjin has been off lately, and Sakura had a good feeling why. She just wanted to pretend she didn't know. Yunjin let out a loud sigh, looking back up at her, annoyance covering her face, "What is it? I know you came here to ask me something."

"Are you okay?" Sakura found herself blurting out, "I noticed it the other day, something is bothering you. I'm not sure what it is. Are you relapsing, or thinking about it again? I'm just concerned."

"You always fucking dance around the issue," Yunjin spat, standing up now. "Say it."

"Yunjin, I don't know what you mean."

"No, you do." Yunjin snapped, "If you want to rub it in my face that she killed herself then just do it. If you want to rub it in my face that I killed your kid, do it. I'm so sick of you alluding to these things and not following through. Say it. Say what you want to say. Say that you hate me, that you wish I went through with it. Say it Sakura. Say it and stop pretending to care about me just so you can make me miserable."

Where was this coming from? Sakura had no clue, but it was scaring her. Other officers were looking over in their direction, they were concerned as well. Yunjin was never a really open person, but this was the closest they would get to a breakdown from her. The older woman slammed her hand down on the cubicle, "You still blame yourself for that? Yunjin, that was my fault. I ran in there, you couldn't do anything. We talked about this. And she is dead, and you're hurting. It's only been three years, I know you haven't gotten over it. Don't you dare say I wish you went through with it. Do you not understand how scary that was? If Kazuha didn't get there, I-I would have lost you too." Sakura closed her eyes and tried to take a few deep breaths, "Something is bothering you. Is it all this, is it something else? I don't know. As your friend, I wish you would tell me. But as your supervisor, you're a liability right now. I'm going to have to put you on paid leave until you go to employee services and have a psych eval."

That was really the last thing she wanted to do, but if that was what was bothering Yunjin, she needed to make sure she was sound of mind before she even considered having her here. They were friends, but Sakura also held responsibility as her supervisor to ensure not only everyone else's but Yunjin's safety as well. Sakura tapped on the cubicle, having so much more to say before sighing, leaving it alone. "You should go home now, I'll redistribute your cases for now."

"Just because you're mad at me doesn't mean you need to interfere with my job." Yunjin gritted out.

"You're distracted. You could hurt someone or mess up an investigation. This is final." She could only watch as Yunjin grabbed her bag and stormed out, completely pissed. She'd come around, especially if they had to see each other in a few days. She needed a vacation as well, this was the best decision. Sakura sent a quick text to Chaewon, giving her a warning and asking her to take her out to relax. Chaewon sent a thumbs up emoji back. That made her feel a bit more relieved. It was still a bit unnerving though, and even if she knew what was the right thing to do, Sakura didn't know if she was strong enough to do it.