Forever Luna

Trepidation

noun ~ a feeling of fear or agitation about something that may happen

NOVA

"Are you sure you don't mind?" I wondered.

"Nova, please. What's the worst that could happen?"

Basking in a flood of postpartum anxiety, I force my lips to close. There were a lot of things that could happen to babies, choking, suffocation, falls...

"You promise?" I mumbled.

"Nova, Sean has this. He and Rose have done this before." Phoenix reassured me.

Rose wrapped her hand around my cheek and I blinked across at her. Her face softened with sympathy as her thumb stroked beneath my eye.

"We got this, Nova. You know we do." She told me. "Please, just enjoy yourself for a few hours."

Inhaling at her calming voice, I nodded. "Okay."

Rose's smile broadened, and her hand dropped from my skin. Carefully, I passed her Annabelle, who gurgled up at Rose with interest. Rose had this strange aura around her that even I could not explain. She was calm, collected, and level-headed. I found sometimes I could talk to her about anything, and other times I was just glad to sit beside someone and not talk. Rose got it. Rose understood. I was glad she was my gamma female.

"See you two later." Sean smiled, pulling me in for a one-armed hug.

I rubbed his back and nodded. "Yeah, you will."

He chuckled, the hand on my back pushing me toward Phoenix. My eyes widened when I spotted Phoenix already waiting, taking over from Sean and guiding me out of their house. I waved goodbye over their shoulders, my eyes dropping to the twins in their arms. Once the doors shut behind them, I huffed softly and stared out at the grass.

"Their new cabin is nice, isn't it?" Phoenix spoke.

I swallowed the lump in my throat when he held out his hand. Taking it softly, the largeness squeezed me softly before pulling me from their front step. I felt the motherly bond tug at me as I focused on it, but with a calming breath, I pushed it a little further back into my mind.

"Yeah, how many are unoccupied now?" I wondered.

"About six." He shrugged.

"They've just been sitting there this whole time?" I asked.

"Sure have." He grunted, tugging me through the trees. "We abandoned them when the last sprouting of babies grew up. They were always 'family homes' when I was a kid."

"Why was there such a gap in babies? I remember you said before, people just stopped?"

"Not that exactly." He pursed his lips. "When I turned eighteen, I knew what I wanted from this pack. Built from the ideals my father gave me, this pack was to be a warrior pack. That is what he wanted, and being so naïve, that's what I made it. We became the King's warrior pack to the point people feared us. Our reputation spread far and wide."

I nodded. "I remember when I heard about you."

"You do?" He mused. "How terrible I was?"

"Basically." I laughed. "You did not forgive or forget, and those that crossed you regretted it. Oh, and you killed packs."

He snorted a laugh. "Crescent Moon? Rogues took them down, you know that. The entire pack was obliterated. I should've seen it coming, really. That was the first major thing that the rogue coup did."

My head dropped, staring at the muddy ground as we strolled. It was strange how it was only a year ago, and yet it felt like so much longer. So many things could happen in a year, so many things could change in a matter of minutes. Meeting Phoenix and shifting was the cataclysm I needed to be free.