Complicated

Chapter 38: I'm Fine!

We fell asleep wrapped around each other. I cried until I feel asleep. I'm not sure how long Gally stayed up, but he kept promising we would figure it out. But there was no way I could have a baby in the Glade! I needed to get the shuck out of here! I woke up before the sun. I slid out from under Gally's arm, left a quick kiss on his cheek and tip toed to my room, changed and headed to the kitchen, stopping only once to throw up. 

I grabbed an apple and some toast and quickly packed a lunch and filled my water bottle. I headed for the MapRoom. I sat at the table going over the maps and the little model. The Runners had pushed quite a bit into the Maze while I was out for almost a month. 

"Shuck it, you gotta get out there. We need to get home!" I whispered. 

"Shuck ya we do Tiger!" Minho said leaning on the door frame. 

I looked over my shoulder, and looked away sheepishly. 

"I'm sorry about last night Min. I wasn't feeling my self." I said quietly. 

"Nah, it's all good. You don't have to explain, you don't want that nasty klunk he calls a drink, you don't have to." He shrugged, coming to stand beside me. We both looked at the model. 

"So. Were we going today?" I asked. 

"You're sure your up to coming?" He eyed me. 

I knew I looked pale and a little thin, but I clamped my jaw and narrowed my eyes, looking him dead in the eye. 

"If I say I'm fine, I'm fine. And you know I'd just come behind you anyways." I snapped. But added quietly, "I have to find a way home...I just..I have to." absentmindedly I laied a hand on my flat stomach.

"All right. But the second you say your done we're done. You run with me and Ben." 

I nodded, quickly removing my hand and ran it through my hair and threw it into a pony. The other runners showed up and Minho paired everyone up. 

Ben, Minho, Jax and I were going back to section 7. I took a slow steadying breath. My stomach heaved. I wasn't sure if that was nervous from the maze and the same section The Takening happened or from my other possible problem. I threw my backpack on and strapped my knives to my belt. I took another breath, opened the door and ran for the doors. The guys right behind me, on my heels. I wanted to get into the maze as fast as I could. I need to keep my mind busy. I couldn't sit in the kitchen anymore, it was to easy for it to wonder and easy to panic and have all the awful 'what if' situations. 

I slowed down slightly when I saw a big brown stain on the grey stone. Unfortunately I felt the bile rise, I slowed and stopped, leaning one hand on the wall I threw up the little breakfast I did eat. Minho stopped and walked towards me concerned. 

"Look Charlie," he started. 

I stood up, wiped my mouth, raising an eyebrow, "My real name. Uh oh. I better watch out." 

He frowned even more. 

"You didn't even make it into twists yet and your throwing up! I don't think this is a good idea." 

I stood straighter, and crossed my arms. "Did you notice what we just passed?" I snapped, "Look behind you! That's Fred's blood stain, that's the only thing left of him! I couldn't even hold him while he died! He was ripped from me, and I couldn't do anything to save him! I tried! And I failed! This is the first time I've been back to this spot since." 

I felt the tears burning again. I closed my eyes for a second, breathing deep, trying to get my wind out of control emotions back under control. I opened my eyes. All three guys stood in front of me.