Admiral ✓ (Completed, Review In Progress)

Chapter 38

"She was depressed Leah , she dropped out of school recently , she isn't going to go to school anymore. Whenever she gets drunk she curses Nonnie and Alicia for seperating you from her. You were all she had Leah , she loved you very much as a friend. I don't understand why haven't you been talking to her ?, what's so wrong she did that your avoiding her ,she's hurting so much imagine loosing your only best friend you had for years and years." Veronica took a deep breath and kicked the chair. "If you were with her , none of this would've happened , she wouldn't have gotten addicted like this , while you were busy with your other friends , I had to deal with her , I had to deal with her pain with her panic attacks , with her tears , her alcoholic , drugged and chaotic side all because she's my girlfriend. Leah you should've taken up at least half of what's in my shoes but instead you just ignore her. Imagine being friends at the best and leaving her during her lowest , is that what a true best friend would do?" she said pulling her hand warmers. "I'm sorry I just - " she sat down While I was at the verge of having massive break down.

I stared at the floor processing everything she said. So Varonica and Elissa have been dating and I never knew that. Elissa has been keeping a lot of things from me. She always keeps everything to herself while she expects me to tell her everything about my life. I never thought it was fair but now I realize that the only thing that held our friendship together is my mouth and my stories there was nothing from her side except expectations. She expects me to be with her all the time, be her best friend when she didn't even try to talk to me all these days. Whenever I call her , she's busy partying or she never attends the call. I tried what I can , I tried my best to connect and she drinks cursing me and my friends ?. Making me look like the villain when all I did was to focus in my life and studies.

If I were to be close to the Elissa who has changed completely , I should be partying and drinking like how they do. I should match their interests which I don't like. The Elissa who was my friend used to read novels together with me , takes me on a library date. Walks around in the park talking about the most random things in her mind. Sparks up my dull mood. Who will attend my calls and messages immediately , who will take me out to bowling , badminton and coffee. Who'd stay at my house and help me rearrange things.  who'd group study with me and play music with me. How many days has it been since I touched the dam keyboard. I can't even imagine how I've lost touch with the things I loved the most. I didn't go to band practice after that , I quit everything because of how I was feeling back then. A tiny bit of regret sprouted in my stomach. Is this how the rest of my life is going to be ?. 

I watch the ceiling still maintaining silence not knowing how to justify what I did in front of Veronica. Its useless because her whole life is at stake , Veronica must be feeling the same way I feel. I'm already emotionally sucked out like I leach. I lean towards the door , a blurred figure of Elissa was seen , her face was buried under the nebulizer. Her chest moving up and down. I finally respond to Veronica leaning against the door.
"I don't know what to say except , I'm sorry"
"Your sorry ? You are just sorry ?" she scoffs. "You'd better be , at least" she said as she walked back and forth nervously biting her nail. The nurse pulled open the door and fixed  her eyes on me as I stumbled in a little.
"You can go see her if you want" she too me. Veronica tried to come in with me. "One person at a time" she said and walked past us. Varonica nodded guesturing me to go in. I bumped into the doctor. She was in blue scrubs wearing a mask . "I'm sorry , but is she okay ?" I ask with a concerned look on my face.
"Yes she's stable , she just has to wake up".

I look at her sleeping peacefully while the drips was unloading itself into the I.V. I've never seen Elissa so weak before , I've never seen her get admitted even though she used to get sick , I was never expecting this. I sat on the small stool nearby and reached out for her hand. She opened her eyes and looked at the ceiling. Slowly her eyes shifted to my hand that was reaching out to her , towards me. Tears filled her eyes. She couldn't say anything because she was wearing the nebulizer. But from the look she gave me she had so much to say. She needed me more than anything. Now she has me. I didnt realize tears were wetting my cheek too. This one was tears of happiness , tears when you know deep down your friend who's been away from you all these days is willing to connect with you.
"Elissa , you will be alright , I'll pray for you " I told her. "We go to rehab during the summer together , I'll come with you , I'll be there with you , you will be that one percent that recovers from addiction I believe you okay?."
More tears come down from her eyes.
"But I want you to cut down all your party friends , who you get access to all of these drugs , who made you do all of this , cut all of them , your friends they have influence over your actions , you don't want to be hanging out with people who influnce you to do things you shouldn't do." She nods and cries even more.
"Hey , hey Elissa" I cry with her. "I love you , I always will okay ? No matter how things are between us there's nothing in this world that cannot be fixed , especially our friendship". I tell her. "I'll help you find a job for you , and some side courses you can do , don't you dare feel alone because I'm always there for you , just let me connect , tell me what's on your mind okay ?" I tell her sobbing. "I want to help you Elissa please let me"
She squeezed her eyes , more tears came out of them. She nodded.