Chapter 108: Kuroo: Same As It Ever Was

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I can't believe it.  I just can't believe it.  Here I am, Kuroo Tetsuro, Tohoku University freshman.  It just doesn't quite seem real, you know?

Well, I guess it isn't really official just yet.  Technically, I suppose you could say I won't really be an official freshman until my first class on Monday, two days from now.

But I'm certainly no longer a high school senior.  That was over and done two weeks ago.  It was so strange, graduating from Nekoma, leaving my team behind.  Kai and Yaku too, heading out with me.  Receiving our diplomas together was pretty amazing.  I didn't cry.  No really, I did not cry.  

Not until later on, when the three of us were walking out from the ceremony, and there was the team, lined up and waiting for us.  I might have gotten a little bit misty eyed then.  

For a fraction of a second, everything was the same as it ever was.  Kenma looking at his phone, Yamamoto being loud and ridiculous, Fukunaga chuckling to himself about something, the first years all looking wide eyed and excited, and of course, Lev staring off at the gods only know what in the completely opposite direction from where everyone else was looking.

And then, Yamamoto noticed us approaching.  Suddenly, he straightened, and with a quick word, got the team to pay attention and face us to bow and thank us graduates.  Even Kenma took note, slipping his phone back in his pocket.  All of sudden I realized it.  I wasn't the captain of Nekoma anymore.  In that instant, it was clear that Yamamoto had taken over.  He is the captain of Nekoma now.

I wonder what the groupies will think of that.  Actually, I wonder what he will think of the groupies

In that moment of realization, I might have let slip a tear or two, friends.  Nekoma's volleyball team has been my life, my world, my sustenance, for three years now.  It was such an odd feeling, realizing that the team will now be going on without me.  But they'll be fine.  I've got every confidence in Yamamoto, and he'll have Fukunaga to back him up, to help him through the tough moments.  And to keep him from fighting with Kenma too much.

Ah, Kenma.  I tried asking him if he would consider leading the team, and I don't think I'd gotten more than two words out before the pudding head huffed out a deep sigh, rolled his eyes, and said "Give me a break, Kuro.  I promised I'd play next year, isn't that enough?  Why do you want to torment me by putting me in charge of things?  I'm not doing that."

I am not in the least bit ashamed to admit there were some tears a couple of days back when I said goodbye to my best friend.  It's not easy for me, knowing that I won't be seeing Kenma every day from now on.  We've spent most of the last decade in each other's company.  Starting this new chapter of my life without him by my side...well...it's a little daunting, if I'm being honest with myself.

Kenma's reaction to my tearful farewell?  "Cut it out, Kuroo.  I'll come visit you.  You'll come visit me.  It's not like one of us is dying or something."

And of course, he's right.  This time had to come.  Time for us both to move on.

I have no doubt Kenma will go to university after his time at Nekoma is over.  Will he consider Tohoku, because I'm here?  I don't know.  Part of me hopes he does, and part of me wonders if maybe the best thing for both of us is to spread our wings a bit.  Do our own thing for a while.  We're always going to be best friends, Kenma and I.  But maybe, we've each lived in the shadow of the other for long enough.  Maybe it's time for us to each experience the world in our own way.  

I'm just really grateful that Kozume Kenma won't be letting go of volleyball just yet.  And neither am I.  I'm going to try out for Tohoku's volleyball team.  After all, my bro is gonna be trying out, so I don't really have a choice.  Just as Kenma promised me he wouldn't quit volleyball, I promised the Boku-bro I wouldn't be quitting it either.  I might be majoring in Business Management, but honestly, I don't want to leave the sports world behind just yet.  It means too much to me to let it go.

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