Your Eyes Tell

30.

YoonGi's POV

     We stood out on the balcony for a while, JungKook's arms wrapped around me. I exhaled out slowly. I was exhausted but my mind was racing, clouded with a storm of thoughts. I closed my eyes just wanting everything to stop. I felt like I couldn't even breathe. I hated my thoughts, I hated how much I had changed, and I'm starting to realize just how much I hate myself. I exhaled again, groaning I started to pull away. "What's wrong?" JungKook asked gripping on to me tighter. "I just... I... Ugh..." I groaned out in frustration. I looked down at his arms still wrapped around me, holding me firmly in place. I could feel JungKook's lips graze the back of my neck as he nuzzles into the nape of my neck. "I'm right here." He whispers to me. "Can we go inside?" I whisper back.

     He loosened his grip on me and followed me into my room. He sat on the edge of my bed watching me pace my room. "Talk to me." His voice was soft but stern. "I... I'm not...." I froze in place. I was frustrated. I can't even voice out my feelings. I can feel the start of a headache and I feel like I hate everything right now.

     I was brought out of my thoughts when his hand gently grabbed ahold of mine. He slowly pulled me towards him. "Get out of your head Hyungie and talk to me." He spoke gently while running his hand across my cheek. I exhaled slowly, closing my eyes. "I'm not good enough for you. You deserve so much better than me. You should go..." My voice was low but I know he heard every word. I slowly opened my eyes finding them full of unshed tears. I tried looking away from him. "Stop." His voice was stern and I froze in place. "Look at me." He continued but I know that if I look at him those unshed tears will fall freely. I kept my back to him and my eyes stayed glued to the floor in front of me.

     I heard him stand from my bed, I couldn't help but flinch as he wrapped his arms around me again. His chin rested on my shoulder, "Do you really believe that?" He whispered in my ear. He was so close I felt his breath fan over my bare neck. "I'm not good enough for anyone." I choked out, barely a whisper. Trying not let my tears escape. "You're wrong Gi. Let me show you. Give me a chance to show you." Those words. They broke me from the inside out. I crumbled in his arms.

JungKook's POV

     Hearing him talk about himself like that and knowing that, that is how he truly feels about himself broke my heart. I was angry, frustrated, hurt, and I know that I need him to see differently. I can't stand seeing him hurt so much. As soon as I spoke those words to him asking him to let me show him he broke down. I could feel him starting to drop in my arms as tears rolled down his cheeks. I pulled him in closer. He turned towards me, his head lowered, and his hands gripped onto the front of my shirt. I quickly pulled him in, one hand on the back of his head while the other wrapped around his small waist. I held him for a minute before pulling him into his bed where I quickly pulled his blankets up and then over the top of the both of us.

     His face was in the crook of my neck and even though he wasn't making a sound I could feel his warm tears rolling down from his face onto my skin. "It's okay Gi. I got you." I spoke into the top of his head as I gently rubbed his back with one hand and ran my fingers through his hair with my other. "I love you Gi. I'm not going anywhere." I spoke in between kissing the top of his head. His hands slowly started to release my shirt and I could feel him wrap his arm around my own waist. He still had tears slowly rolling down his cheek but it seemed like he was starting to calm down.

     I continued holding him until I felt his body start to relax in my arms. I continued running my fingers through his hair. "Let me love you Gi." I whispered as I started to close my own eyes. I pulled him in closer, gently kissing his temple and then leaning down and inhaling his natural scent. I was finally able to relax with him in my arms and I slowly started to drift off to sleep.

-Next Morning-

     I slowly started to open my eyes. The room was still dark due to YoonGi preferring to keep his room dark when he sleeps regardless of what time of day it is. I leaned over YoonGi, grabbing my phone off the nightstand to check the time. It was only a little after 0800. YoonGi will most likely want to sleep longer now that he is finally sleeping well. For once he didn't wake up last night so that's good. I slowly made my way off his bed, carefully climbing over him and headed to the kitchen to start making some coffee.

     While entering the kitchen I was surprised to see both SeokJin and HoSeok in the kitchen talking. "Oh. JK, did you stay in YoonGi-ah's room last night?" SeokJin asked as soon as he saw me. I wasn't really ready for a conversation so I just nodded. HoSeok smiled gently at me before asking softly, "How is he?" I exhaled deeply. "You should really talk to him. I'm sure if you talk to him he'll be willing to address any concerns you have. He isn't weak. It may take him some time to explain some things but talk to him. Don't talk about him when he isn't around." I couldn't help but grit out the last couple sentences. I was frustrated with what YoonGi had said about hearing them talking about him and how it made him feel.

     SeokJin and HoSeok both stood there slightly surprised but HoSeok was the first to respond with a small nod, a slight smile, and softly spoke, "Okay. You're right JK. I will talk to him." HoSeok gently pats my shoulder as he walked away leaving me in the kitchen with SeokJin. SeokJin was staring at the floor in thought. "He heard us talking, didn't he?" He asked softly. "Yes." I quickly replied. I wasn't going to lie or hide what I know. SeokJin sighed. "We should of talked to him ourselves. I'm sorry he heard us. Is...is he okay?" SeokJin finally looked up, looking me in the eyes. "He had a lot of really bad feelings and thoughts about it but just talk to him. Ask him what you want to know. He is still our YoonGi. The same strong amazing YoonGi he has always been. Don't treat him different." SeokJin furrowed his brows, clearly unsure but he then gave a small smile and nodded in agreement with me. "You've grown up well JK." He spoke as he placed his hand on my shoulder. "I'm really glad you're there for YoonGi. I know you're trying to give him time since everything, but I really think you guys will be great together." "Thanks Hyung. You all helped to raise me to be the man I am now and I'm really thankful for that. I don't know when Hyungie will be ready but I'm willing to wait for him and I will always be here for him." SeokJin nodded and then left the kitchen. "Coffee. Coffee. Coffee." I mumbled to myself under my breath as I started making coffee to take in to Hyungie.