Your Eyes Tell

3.🔞

YoonGi's POV

     Its 03:00 (3am) and he's not back yet. I can't sleep. I just keep staring at the ceiling. I can't keep laying here in the dark. The silence is deafening. My mind keeps going to bad places. "Ugh..." I'm going to go crazy just laying here.

     I could hear the front door open and close. I can hear him laugh and stumble down the hall. Great, he's drunk. I turn on my side and face the wall. I can't look at him right now. I don't want to. I hear him sigh, I feel the bed dip next to me, and then I feel his arm wrap around my waist and he pulls me back into him. His face is in the crook of my neck and I can feel his breath on my neck and in my ear. "Baby boy you missed all the fun. You need to lighten up, then we can have fun together." I could smell the alcohol on his breath as he continued talking in my ear. "Yoongs." He started kissing the back of my neck as he said the nickname he started calling me about 3-4 months back. "Baby boy I know you're awake. I let one of the guys at the club get me started but Baby boy you're going to finish me." "What the fuck Jay?" I couldn't believe what he just said. He said it so effortlessly. His grip tight on my waist. "Jay that hurts. Let go."

'He messed with someone else before coming home. You will never be enough for him. He's cheated before. You aren't enough.'

'Why does he keep doing this? Will I ever be enough?'

'He's just using you until he gets bored.'

     He continues kissing my neck. I feel sick. He's running his fingers along the inside of my sweat pants. He shoves his other hand underneath my side and up the inside of my shirt. "Jay please. I don't want to." He pulls me closer to him and I can feel his bulge against my ass and I just feel sick. "You're mine and we are doing this."

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07:00 (7am)

     I looked over at the clock. Fuck. I have to get up. My whole body hurts. I don't want to move but I have to. Jay is still passed out. He'll be out for hours. I slowly climb out of bed, I grab my clothes off the floor where Jay left them just hours prior and I toss them in the dirty clothes basket. I don't even want to look at them. I just want to forget last night. I open the one drawer I have in his room with just enough clothes to last a few days. I pull out some black ripped skinny jeans, a t-shirt, a pair of boxers briefs and I head into the bathroom to take a shower.

     Seeing my face in the mirror doesn't surprise me as much as it should. The dark circles under my eyes from not sleeping, the huge hickeys running down my neck and now my chest, a bruise on my waist in the shape of his hand, my whole body hurts but I'm not surprised. Its not the first time he's done this. I don't see it being the last either.

     Standing under the water with my eyes closed and his words replaying in my head. "Stop being a little bitch and take it." "Always such a slut aren't you?" 'Fuck. I'm so fucking worthless. I'm not even sure why we're still together anymore. He was suppose to be a distraction from JungKook. It was suppose to be fun. He said he loved me and for once I wanted to believe that someone really did love me. Just me. I'm not in love with him but it was okay.' I started scrubbing my body harshly. I feel so dirty. I'm so disgusted with myself.

     After getting dressed I walk back through the room. Jay is still passed out. I grab my oversized black hoodie, pulling it down over my head, I put on my boots, grab my keys and pull my bag up on my shoulder, and walk out the door. Driving to the company doesn't take too long.

     I get out of my car wearing sunglasses and my black mask, I pull my hood up over my head. Its too bright outside and I already have a headache. I walk past the lobby straight to the elevator, getting off on the floor of the dance studio. I know I'm running late but I just don't have it in me to move any faster.

     I open the door to the dance studio and the guys all get quiet but I can't seem to look anywhere but the floor. I walk to the far corner and set my bag down sitting my self on the floor. I open my bag and set my sunglasses inside pulling out a water bottle and pop a couple pills for my headache. I can see NamJoon eyeing me from my peripheral but I say nothing. He doesn't say anything either so I just sit there. My head leaned back against the wall and my eyes closed. I guess I wasn't as late as I thought since our instructor isn't here yet.

     "Hyung?" I look over to see Hobi. "Yeah?" My voice cracked a little. "Are you okay?" I guess I should of seen that question coming. I sigh and then I give him the same response I gave in the gc. "I'm fine Hoba." He has a serious look on his face while looking me over. "Hyung you didn't respond to my text last night." Now he looks a little hurt. "Oh. I had turned my phone off. Actually its still off." "Hyung you know you can talk to me right? We are best friends I will listen." "I know Hoba. I just...." It takes everything in me not to show my emotions and to not just break right now. I sigh a little. I really want to smoke and cut and I can't do either right now. "You just...?" He wanted me to continue but I just didn't have it in me to say anything about what had happened. I'm not ready to admit to anyone just how weak I really am. "Can we talk after practice? In my studio?" "Of course YoonGi Hyung." I can see a small smile as he agreed.

     10 hours into practice and I'm still missing steps. I know the guys are frustrated with me hell, I'm frustrated with me. Our instructor keeps looking at my neck and he's asked if I was okay too many times. My head is killing me. I can't wait for the day to end. "Alright guys lets call it a day. Suga can I talk to you for a minute?" I guess I saw that coming. The guys all start getting their things together. He pulls me to the side, "What is going on? You look like hell. I'm concerned. I mean look at your neck." He reached up to touch it while asking, "Does it hurt? What the hell happened?" I couldn't help but flinch and step back. "Don't touch me." My words came out harsher than I meant for it to. I notice that now the guys are all looking at us. I can't be here anymore. I grab my stuff, walk out the door, and head to my studio.

     As soon as I'm inside my studio I lock the door, I drop my bag, my back pressed against the door, I slide myself down to the floor, my head is my hands, and now I'm crying. Fucking crying. "Such a fuck up." I started hitting the back of my head against my door.

HoSeok's POV

     We all saw YoonGi's reaction to our instructor getting too close. I mean we all know YoonGi doesn't like being touched. He has grown use to the guys and of course Jay but... He hasn't reacted the way he did with our instructor before. Something is definitely not right. He kept his hood on through out the entire practice. That plus the posts Jay and YoonGi both had posted last night... Looks like YoonGi is smoking again too. I take a deep breath as I reach YoonGi's studio. I knock and try to open the door but it's locked and he doesn't answer. I ring the bell he had put in and still he hasn't opened his door. "YoonGi Hyung its me. You said you wanted to talk..." I wait a few seconds and then I finally hear the door being unlocked. He opens the door. He doesn't even make eye contact.

     "Hyung?" When he finally looked up I could tell he had been crying. I push the door open farther, he stepped back, I stepped in and closed the door behind me locking it again. "What's wrong? Talk to me." YoonGi doesn't cry easily. He sits on his couch against the wall of his studio. He hadn't even turned on any of his equipment yet. I'm starting to worry even more. I went to put my arm around him but he flinched. He flinched at my touch. My touch. "Hyung?"

YoonGi's POV

     'I flinched. I fucking flinched. At Hoba? My best friend, Hoba? He might let it slide about our instructor but this? This he will not let go.' "YoonGia." The name he calls me when we're alone. His voice was gentle and I don't know how much longer I can... I look up at him and a tear rolls down my cheek. 'Fuck.' He wraps his arms around me in a hug and even though I flinch again he continues to hold me. Then it starts to feel nice and safe. I couldn't help but lean into him and then I closed my eyes.

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     I don't remember falling asleep but when I wake up I'm laying in my own bed, in my room, I find my phone plugged into the charger next to my bed, it keeps going off but I'm not sure I even want to check it. "Ugh..." I look at my phone. "Shit!"

10 Missed Calls Jay❤
17 Missed Text Messages Jay❤

"Fuck!" I grab my hoody, my bag, and my keys. I don't even read the texts. I know he's pissed.