Your Eyes Tell

26.

YoonGi's POV

     We all sat around the table, everyone digging into the meal that SeokJin made. There were a few conversations here and there. Thankfully no one asked how my appointment went. It was a relief that I was able to just sit there and enjoy their company. We talked a little bit about music and some of the different projects some of them were working on. It was nice to just be us I didn't have to think about anything else.

     I couldn't help but steal glances of JungKook while he talked with HoSeok and JiMin. Seeing JungKook smile again even if it was just a small one was nice, although I do really miss his bunny smile. Its been far too long since I've gotten to see him really smile.

JungKook's POV

     Seeing YoonGi at the table with us for a meal for the first time in a very long time brought a smile to my face. We are currently on a break from new activities to give YoonGi time to heal and we all agreed to take a break at the same time because none of us wanted to move forward without him. We can't move forward without him, he is our main producer and we all tend to ask him and NamJoon to check what we are working on anyways because they always catch things we don't or have ideas to improve that we never would of thought of. I was talking to HoSeok and JiMin about some possible new choreography for some of our up coming projects when I catch YoonGi looking my way.

     YoonGi isn't currently showing a lot of emotion but he is eating and occasionally talking to NamJoon. This has been the most he has spent time with us in a while. We were all finishing up when JiMin suggested we all watch a movie together. Everyone quickly agreed, YoonGi seemed to have no opinion either way. After we had all finished we cleared our dishes, cleaned off the table, and one by one made our way to the living room. JiMin and HoSeok of course sat next to each other with YoonGi on the other side of HoSeok and an empty space on the other side of him. TaeHyung was on the other side of JiMin with an empty space next him. NamJoon had taken the single chair and Jin and I had yet to sit down.

     TaeHyung called me over but before I could take a step in his direction I noticed both HoSeok and JiMin staring me down. YoonGi sat with his legs crossed and was staring at his hands in his lap. I quickly glanced at SeokJin who moved his head in the direction of YoonGi, suggesting that I sit with him as he headed in the direction of TaeHyung. TaeHyung pouted at first but then blushed when Jin sat next to him. I couldn't help but smile. 'I hope he tells Jin Hyung soon.' I thought to myself as I walked towards YoonGi, sitting down next to him.

     After sitting down next to YoonGi I gently placed my hand on his thigh wanting to get his attention. I could feel his body tense up at my touch. "Sorry." YoonGi mumbled out so softly that I almost couldn't hear him. My brows furrowed in confusion. "Hyu..." YoonGi quickly stood up. "I'm just going to go to bed." He quickly mumbled out as he left the room. My mouth was still open surprised he left so fast when I started to talk to him. I slumped into the couch. HoSeok reached over patting my knee.

     HoSeok had a sympathetic look towards me. "Give him some time." HoSeok suggested. "Yeah." I said as I nodded. "He was scared of my touch." I whispered to HoSeok. "He's been through a lot. He has PTSD, anyone would after what he went through. It'll take him time to feel comfortable again." HoSeok spoke gently and I know he was trying to be helpful but I was still worried. *Sigh* SeokJin finally chose something to watch and about 20 minutes into it I decided to just go to bed too.

     I leaned into HoSeok. "I'm going to bed. I'll see you guys tomorrow." I whispered into his ear. HoSeok nodded, whispering a goodnight as he continued playing with JiMin's hair. Walking to my room I noticed a dim light on in YoonGi's room. I could see the soft glow from under the door, most likely from a laptop. I really wanted to go to him but I know HoSeok is right and YoonGi needs time. *Sigh* I quickly went to my room, closed the door, and dropped down on my bed. It took a little while but I was finally able to close my eyes and feel myself drift off to sleep.

YoonGi's POV

     "Fucking idiot." I grumbled out as I sat at my desk using the light from my laptop screen so it wouldn't be too bright and scribbling in my notebook once again. "You're home. This is a safe place. What the fuck is your problem." I continued ranting to myself. I had written several pages in a specific notebook before I realized that I had been writing for a while. My hand was starting to cramp and I was getting thirsty. *Sigh* I leaned back in my chair then decided to go grab a water bottle from the kitchen.

     I quietly walked past the guys still watching tv in the living room, half of them asleep or almost asleep. I noticed that someone was missing. 'Where's JungKook?' I thought as I grabbed a water bottle from the fridge. "Hyung?" HoSeok touched my shoulder. "Aish..." Jumping and turning towards HoSeok. "I didn't hear you coming." I breathed out. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you." HoSeok whispered with a concerned look. "I'm not scared. I just didn't hear you." I mumbled out. "I didn't mean to interrupt your show. Go spend time with JiMin-ah." "Hyung, are you okay?" HoSeok asked. "I'm fine. I was just thirsty so I came to get a water." I told him as I shook the bottle in front of him. HoSeok nodded in acknowledgement.

     "I thought maybe JK went to talk to you so I wanted to check on you." HoSeok said. I furrowed my brows. "I haven't seen him since I left for my room. Where did he go?" I asked. "I guess he really did go to bed." HoSeok said as he shrugged his shoulders then walked away.

     As much as I wanted to check on JungKook I also knew I still needed some space so I made my way back to my room and sat back down at my desk. I only wrote in this notebook the things I needed to say but had no courage to speak out loud. It held all of my most inner thoughts from my feelings about JungKook, the way my parents seemed to hate me, my own self hate, to my worst fears, and even some of my triggers and worst nightmares. This time I wrote about Jay. The pieces of myself that he took away, the things he wanted me to do, what he let his friends do, I wrote out everything that had recently happened in hopes that I could forget it after.