Your Eyes Tell

15.

YoonGi's POV

     NamJoon left a little bit ago, I promised him that I was okay but I'm sitting here in JK's bed with my knees to my chest just wishing I could wake up from this nightmare of a life I seem to be living. I feel trapped. I feel like I have no control and as much as I hate to admit it I don't think I can survive this one on my own. There are hundreds of thoughts running through my head right now and none of them are good. 'Huh. Maybe I should talk to Hobi. I did promise him that when I felt this way I would talk to him first but... I'm not actually ready to talk about Jay. Fuck! What do I do?' Reaching over to the night stand with a shaky hand I find my phone sitting next to JK's phone. I had managed to talk NamJoon into leaving it with me after he told me he had it. Grabbing my phone and staring at the screen for a bit I finally get the nerve to call.

YG: Hoba...
HS: Hyung? Are you okay? I thought you were sleeping?
YG: Hoba, I... I... Can you...
HS: Hyung? Do you need me to come to you?
YG: Yes...

HoSeok's POV

     I could barely hear YoonGi's voice but that one word scared me. NamJoon had already told us that YoonGi Hyung was awake in the room but that he had swore to NamJoon that he was okay so NamJoon was going to go with Jin Hyung to pick up groceries. Just from that short phone call I know he's not. "Guys I'm going to go see YoonGi Hyung. I'll be back in a bit." I leaned in towards JiMin and kissed his cheek before getting up. "Wait. Hobi Hyung, I'll come with you." JungKook said as he started to get up. "No JK. I need to see him alone. He's having a hard time and asked me to come. It took a lot for him to call me and ask that, so I need to go alone. I will let you know if we need anything. Okay?" I explained quickly and gently. We all are worried about YoonGi Hyung but as long as YoonGi Hyung still trusts me enough to call me when he needs me I don't want him to lose faith in me by bringing someone else along. YoonGi has had a hard time expressing his emotions and I don't want to overwhelm him or break his trust.

     I gently patted JungKook's shoulder then quickly headed to JungKook's room. Standing outside JunKook's door. "YoonGi..." I gently called out before walking in and seeing him sitting on the bed appearing smaller than he has in a very long time. I quickly got into the bed next to him placing his head in my lap as he then laid down curled up next me. I gently ran my fingers through his hair. "YoonGi-ah, are you okay?" I gently asked. His body stiffened a little in my arms as I had my left hand in his hair and my right hand resting on his waist. "No Hoba." He said softly. "I tired Hoba. I don't know if I can keep fighting this." His voice was soft, it was raspy, he sounded so defeated. "I'm here YoonGi-ah. We are all here for you." "Don't leave me Hoba." That sentence worried me. Fear crept through my whole body. I leaned over and hugged him close. "I'm not going anywhere Hyung." I could feel a small wet spot through my sweats where YoonGi's head rested. I knew he was probably crying. I leaned back against the headboard of the bed and got comfortable because its very rare when YoonGi has needed me like this and I know its hard for him to show his emotions at times so as long as he needs me I will be here.

YoonGi's POV

     Having HoSeok here made me feel a little better. I could feel tears slowly roll down my cheek but I just didn't care at this point. I was no longer alone with my thoughts and HoSeok always had a way of grounding me enough that I could at least forget about things at least for a little bit. "I'm sorry Hoba..." I whispered as I laid my head on his lap, breathing out slowly trying to fully fill my lungs. My anxiety was on an all time high and my nerves were shot. It was like I was feeling everything and nothing all at the same time. Slowly I was starting to go numb and I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing.

     I can feel HoSeok's fingers carding through my hair and my eyes are starting to feel heavy. "Don't apologize Hyung. You haven't done anything wrong." HoSeok spoke gently which only brought on another round of slow, silently falling tears. I wrapped my arms around HoSeok's waist and allowed my eyes to close. Soon enough I was drifting off to sleep.

HoSeok's POV

     Seeing YoonGi like this breaks my heart. In all honesty he is one of thee strongest people I know. I've watched him go through some really bad times, I saw how he over came some of the hardest situations, and I also see how he never sees just how amazing of a person he really is. I continued gently carding my fingers through his hair. I know I have been in here a while and I'm sure JK will get impatient and come in wanting to take care of Hyung. *sigh* I know JungKook could be really good for him I'm just not sure how Hyung feels. It took him years to get over JungKook and he was finally starting to be happy, like genuinely happy but then Jay came into the picture and now....

     "I miss your smile Hyung." I spoke softly not wanting to wake him but still feeling the need to voice my feelings. "I miss your laugh. I even miss your sarcastic, playful remarks. You stopped being happy Hyung." 'It stopped around 2 months after you started seeing Jay.' I started thinking about when he started to change. "I should of questioned it." *sigh* Looking at YoonGi's body I can see the physical pain that was inflicted but I think I'm more worried about the emotional pain and torment that he is now left to deal with.

JungKook's POV

     I quietly entered my room not wanting to disturb the 2. I could hear Hobi Hyung softly speaking to himself and I could see my Hyungie laying on him with his arms wrapped around his waist. I'm sure he has fallen asleep because his face appeared to be relaxed and peaceful. 'I wish he could always look this way.' "Hoba..." YoonGi's voice cut through the silent room. It was low and raspy. "Yeah Hyung." HoSeok softly responded back. "I'm not good Hoba. I break things." I was surprised hearing YoonGi speak so much. He hasn't spoken to me too much and honestly I'm a little jealous of their relationship.

     They haven't seen me in the room yet so I just stand here silently leaning against the wall listening. "What do you mean Hyung?" HoSeok asked with concern and confusion laced in his voice. "I ruin everything. I'm not even sure why I'm here." I could visibly see HoSeok Hyung tense up at Hyungie's words. My mouth slightly parted. *small quick intake of breath* I quickly pulled my bottom lip in between my teeth, biting it to keep from making anymore noise. "Hyung, please don't say that. You should rest some more Hyung. You have your appointment with Dr. Bae in a few hours." HoSeok spoke while running his fingers through YoonGi's hair. "Yeah, okay." YoonGi said as he drifted back to sleep.
I continued watching them for a few minutes while my mind kept drifting to the words Hyungie had spoken.

     I was snapped out of my train of thought when HoSeok spoke obviously directing his question towards me but spoke quietly so as to not wake Hyung up. "Are you just going to stand there?" My eyes widened realizing that HoSeok Hyung most likely knew I had been there for a while. "I know you heard what he said. Don't talk to him about it but you should probably try to make him feel wanted. We all need to let him know that no matter what he went through with Jay that he is still YoonGi Hyung and that we aren't going anywhere, right?" He spoke with such a stern voice and turned his head looking at me with a look I have only ever seen him give while we are in dance practice.

     A chill ran down my spine and I nodded a yes before slowly walking towards them. "I can sit here with him until his appointment so you can spend some time with JiMin before you go. NamJoon Hyung already said that you and him were going to take him for his first appointment." I spoke quietly not really wanting to wake Hyung up from him getting the sleep he really needed. "Okay JK, if he wakes up and needs me please let me know. I'm trusting him to you." HoSeok spoke firmly while slowly lifting YoonGi Hyung's head and letting me sit where he had just been. Hyungie's arms quickly wrapped around me pulling me close. "Run your fingers through his hair." HoSeok whispered. "What?" I whispered back. "No one really knows this but Hyung likes having someone run their fingers through his hair. It relaxes and soothes him. He won't admit it out loud but I've used it several times while him and I would talk through some things or when he was so overly stressed. It calms him down a lot. I asked if it was helpful once before, his reply was that it reminded him that he wasn't alone." I quickly nodded my head agreeing and started running my fingers through his hair.