Your Eyes Tell

28.

YoonGi's POV

     Being in the studio with NamJoon was like a breath of fresh air. I felt like it had been so long since the last time. NamJoon had me listen to a couple of songs, give my opinion, and made corrections. We worked on the songs for a couple hours and when NamJoon was finally satisfied he closed everything out on the screens and gathered his things. "Can... Can we go to my studio for a bit?" Frustrated with myself for stuttering I asked the question I had wanted to ask since we got here. NamJoon looked at me questioning, but then he asked a question in return. "You're okay with me staying with you?" "I just really want to try something. As long as you don't say anything to anyone else then I'm okay with you staying with me." NamJoon exhaled deeply. "Okay. Let's try not to take too long though." NamJoon replied as we headed over to my studio.

     NamJoon sat on the sofa watching me quietly. I opened one of my programs then pulled out a notebook I had brought with me. I quickly started playing my keyboard, putting together some semblance of a song. When I realized I was stuck and even though usually I would of pushed through I decided not to push my luck and hoped that NamJoon would be willing to bring me again. I wasn't ready for anyone to know what this was but I also knew that they wouldn't let me come alone in fear of what I might do. I understood their fear but I also missed being able to do what I wanted.

     Exhaling deeply I looked over at NamJoon who had stayed quiet this whole time. "We can go home now. I'll have to try to finish another time." "Hyung, can I ask what that was?" NamJoon questioned. "Just something I've had in my head." I quickly replied. "Its two different ones, right?" He asked quickly. "Yes." I whispered back. "I won't say anything to the others but are these songs ones that you plan to release?" I froze at his question. I hadn't thought about it. I mean these were for me. I needed to do this to get past these feelings. I've released songs similar before but these...? The lyrics for the first one, there is no way I could ever actually release it. The second one, maybe. I won't be sure until its done.

     "Hyung?" NamJoon spoke softly, placing his hand on my shoulder. I jumped slightly, being caught off guard. "I'm sorry Hyung. I was calling you. Are you okay?" "Oh. Yeah. I'm fine. I doubt I could ever release them." I managed to whisper out. "They're more for you, right?" He asked cautiously. "Yeah." I managed to breathe out. "That's okay. I think its a good thing. Besides you aren't locking yourself in here, hiding, or ignoring us. I understand. Let me know when you're ready to come back. I'll come with you." Those words from NamJoon brought a small smile to my lips. "Thank you Joon-ah. I appreciate that. I really do."

     NamJoon gave me a small hug. "I'm glad to see you feeling more like yourself Hyung." He whispered before letting me go and walking towards the door. "Lets go home." NamJoon suggested with a smile. "How about we pick up food on the way home for everyone? We can all eat together." I suggested shrugging my shoulders. "Sounds good to me." He quickly replied as we made our way down to the car.

     It didn't take too long for us to pick up food and head home. We rode in the car in a comfortable silence. We made our way inside to find JungKook and TaeHyung playing a game in the living room, and JiMin was sitting at the dining room table scrolling through his phone. "Where's Jin Hyung and Hoba?" I asked JiMin while placing a couple bags on the table. "Oh you're back?" JiMin replied, looking up from his phone. "I believe they are both in Jin Hyung's room." "Wash up. You guys need to eat." I quickly told JiMin while heading to SeokJin's room to let them know that food was here.

     As I went to knock on the door I overheard my name. I didn't want to eavesdrop on their conversation but when I heard my name I froze. "They've been gone a long time. Was it really a good idea for you to let them go?" HoSeok questioned, sounding frustrated. "YoonGi-ah is with Joon. He seemed better today. How was I suppose to tell him no?" SeokJin replied back sounding just as frustrated. "You're his Hyung. He has to listen to you." 'Is that really how he feels?' Thoughts started running through my head hearing them argue about me. "He is literally 3 months younger and honestly he is more of a Hyung than I am." SeokJin spoke back. HoSeok scoffed. "He shouldn't be at the studio. Its too soon." I had finally had enough.

*Knock Knock*

     I quickly yelled through the door. "Food is on the table." I wasn't really hungry anymore so I made my way back to my room. "Maybe I should of just stayed home." I mumbled to myself before letting myself drop on my bed.

JungKook's POV

     I had already gotten into it with SeokJin earlier about YoonGi going to his studio but when he came back with NamJoon carrying food and wearing a small smile that wasn't forced I had decided to try to let it go. Soon we were all sitting around the table starting to eat when I noticed YoonGi hadn't come back yet. "Where's Hyungie?" I asked no one in particular. "I'm not sure. He bought us food wanting to eat together but I didn't see him come back after getting Jin Hyung and Hobi." NamJoon replied. We all looked at each other unsure of what to think. "I'll go get him." I rambled off as I quickly got up and headed to his room.

     I knocked on his door but he didn't reply. I knocked again and then slowly opened the door. YoonGi was sitting in the middle of his bed, his knees pulled up to his chest, and his arms wrapped around them. "Hyungie, we're all waiting on you to eat." I spoke softly not wanting to startle him. "You guys go ahead. I'm not really hungry." He mumbled out. Something was wrong and I am not letting it go. I quickly sat next to him. "What's wrong? I thought you wanted to eat together?" I asked gently as I sat on the side of his bed. He breathed out, "Do you all think I should just stay in my room? That I'm incapable of making my own decisions?" He looked at me as he asked.

     I bit down on my bottom lip, unsure of how to respond to his questions. "I think we're just worried about you." I finally voiced. "So worried that I'm not even considered a person anymore?" He questioned. "What? No. That's not..." I started but was quickly cut off by YoonGi. "Its okay Kookie. I understand. Just go eat." "What about you?" "I'll be right here. I just need some time." I didn't like his response but I knew he probably needed some space so... I sighed as I got up. "If you want to talk or just someone to sit with you, I'm here." Walking away was not really something I wanted to do but YoonGi needed time for himself and I wanted him to feel safe coming to me. I didn't want him to feel forced.