"I want to know why you do it."
"Why I do what." he asked, stripping off his overcoat.
He flung it over the back of the couch without much thought as he began unbuttoning his shirt.
"Why you always save me. Every time I'm in trouble you always come...
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"I can't. Hongjoong what you're asking is-"
"I know." He sighed; his eyes unbelievably sad as he brushed back my hair. "But at least promise me you'll consider it."
The words tugged at my heartstrings. A part of me wanting to agree just so I wouldn't have to see him so unhappy. But that would be impulsive of me. No doubt it would solve my problem of making sure my mom was safe and cared for, but the flip side of that meant I would be committing to him completely. He could absolutely be meaning for it to come off as a way to coerce me into staying with him, but the way he looked at me banished any inkling of that. He was sincere in his offer.
Just as much concern over the wellbeing of my mother as having me stay. He was almost too easy to read in this moment. And while I knew he would have been more than happy had I accepted his offer, I could also tell that the same happiness would have roused if I chose someone else instead. His concern earlier for his comrades when he heard I couldn't be with any of them while my mother needed me. He was willing to fight me for their chance at a future with a mate and a family. But I couldn't just accept. I needed to process everything.
His offer, the bonds, the people after us. I needed someone to talk to about it. I needed my mother.
"I'll think about it." I told him, pulling away.
My retreat seemed to bring him back to himself. He stepped away, hands dropping to his sides as he glanced over at Yunho.
"I'll let you get some rest. Come find me if he wakes." He said softly, turning to the door.
I watched him go. As soon as the door closed behind him, I slumped against the edge of the bed.
"A mess Y/N. You've gotten yourself into a mess." I mumbled under my breath.
A few days ago, when this mark on my hand first appeared, I wondered what it was and why it showed up. But this... predicament, was the last thing I anticipated happening. I exhaled harshly, running my hands through my hair as I swept my gaze around the room. It was trashed. Hongjoong having thrown everything around in his search for the scalpel blade. I cast one quick look to Yunho to find him still unconscious and with nothing better to do, I set to work cleaning up.
The task kept me from thinking too hard about anything. Honestly, I'd be content not having to think for the rest of my life. Unfortunately, things were too complicated right now for me to even dream about such a luxury. I stashed things back to where they were to the best of my ability. Wishing I could just go back to the beginning of this week and start over. Convince myself to not walk out of the house for bread so I wouldn't have ended up where I am now to begin with. By the time the room was back in order, I was hungry. My stomach gurgling loudly in the eerily silent room.
Kicking myself for not eating like San had told me to, I lit another lantern, placing it on the nightstand next to Yunho's bed. Figuring he would need a fresh bowl of water and I could use it as an excuse to find the kitchen anyway, I picked it up and headed for the door. It was much darker in the hallway than it was earlier in the evening. The way from the dining room a bit harder to navigate without much light besides what came in through the windows, but I managed.
