Chapter 14

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I wish I had an explanation for the panic that completely consumed me hearing his name leave Mingi's lips and maybe it was as simple as the fact that we shared a bond, but either way the fear that gripped me was real

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I wish I had an explanation for the panic that completely consumed me hearing his name leave Mingi's lips and maybe it was as simple as the fact that we shared a bond, but either way the fear that gripped me was real. It took my heart in a chokehold, the squeeze of its icy fingers making my chest throb in pain as I mindlessly clawed at my own skin, my tears seconds away from overflowing. I began hyperventilating, vision turning fuzzy as I looked around not knowing what to do with myself. Needing to see him. The urge so overpowering that I was losing rationality not having him within arm's reach.

"We need to go. I need to- He's hurt and-" my words ended on a whimper as I rubbed at my chest to ease the ache that's made its home there.

Mingi's hands came down on my shoulders. "Y/N. Listen to me. Deep breaths and calm down."

My mind was swimming underwater. Mingi's voice no more than a muffled murmur. Yunho's face flashed across my mind. I didn't have great memories with him, but he still saved my life and my mother's. I felt hands slide up my shoulders to my cheeks. Mingi cupped my face between his large hands, tilting my face up to meet his eyes.

"Y/N. He's going to be okay. I need you to calm down. Breathe my lady."

He took in deep breaths and I watched his chest rise and fall with them. I matched them the best I could and once I had slowed my breathing and heart rate enough he nodded.

"Good girl. San and Hongjoong finished packing. We have half a day's ride to Kriton kingdom, so we need to get moving. You're with me."

Inside I was relieved I would be riding with Mingi. Not that San and Hongjoong were awful traveling companions, but the comfort Mingi was bringing to me was the only thing holding me together at this point and I desperately needed that. The two of us mounted the horse, Mingi leading the rest of them behind him as San and Hongjoong took the lead, my mother riding with San.

"Mingi?"

My voice was small. My chest was still tight and though I had a handle on the panic threatening to consume me, it teetered on the ledge of letting me fall under it again. Mingi hummed a response behind me.

"Why do I feel like this?"

"Feel like what my lady?"

I fumbled with my hands. My feelings making me antsy.

"Panicky. My chest hurts and I feel like a part of me has been taken. Like there's an empty hole in me."

"It's the bond. The one you share with Yunho."

"But I thought it was just purely physical?"

I looked up to watch Mingi's facial expression. He looked straight ahead, brows furrowed as he mulled over my question. Slowly he nodded before answering.

"Yes. That's true. Initially the bond formed is a physical one. The emotional connection between mates will start to develop the more time the mates spend together. I guess it's wrong to say that there's not an emotional connection at all to begin with. It's there, but minute. You'll still feel things for your bonded partner. The bond sort of nudges you together. Works on building the emotional connection slowly to help the two accept the bond. Does that make sense?"

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