Found (Book 2)

Chapter 29

Lauren's POV

I really really screwed up. Like majorly screwed up. I can't stop crying, I cried myself to sleep last night. Jessie ran off when I tried to say something and when she was about to go to her bed, she saw me and left. It takes a lot to get Jessie so mad she won't talk to you and I feel so guilty. I don't really want to do anything.

I eventually pull myself out of bed with Dani's encouragement and she drags me downstairs for breakfast. I pick at my pancakes, not in the mood for eating but take a few bites just to look good. I can tell all of my sisters are looking at me differently. They all know what happened. I feel so ashamed, my face is probably red as I stare at my food.

I knock on the bathroom door and wait for whoever is in there to open it. Finally the door swings open and a very broken Jessie stares back at me. I quickly look down and Jessie leaves the bathroom and I go in. I feel so much pain because of putting Jessie through this. I'm not that girl! I never wanted to be but now I am and I hate myself so much for it.

I spend the next few hours just laying on the couch watching TV and Amy joins me. She lets me lay my head on her legs and I lay across the couch. Neither of us say a word but I know that she can see I'm hurting. I'm definitely not good at hiding my feelings.

"Get up Lauren we're going for a walk," Christina says coming into the living room and looking straight at me. I shake my head,I don't want to hear what she has to say. She doesn't accept that though and grabs my arm, pulling me up to a standing position. She yells that we're going for a walk and then practically drags me down the sidewalk. Once we're far enough from our house Christina turns to face me.

"What the heck were you thinking yesterday Lauren Christine?!" she erupts. I knew I was about to get the third degree, I deserve it though.

"I wasn't..." I whisper. I wasn't thinking when it happened. Only feeling what I thought was a real thing.

"Do you realize how freakin stupid you were being? He took your first kiss Lauren! He almost took even more than that too!" Christina yells and I start to cry. I can't help it, I keep replaying what happened in my head. At first it felt so good, his kiss was like a drug but then he took it further and I was too naïve to realize what he wanted.

"I didn't realize until it was too late," I say honestly.

"Why Lauren... you've hurt Jessie so bad," my oldest sister says and sighs.

"I feel so guilty Chris. I see how broken and hurt Jessie is, I know what I did no need to tell me things I already know. I know I'm a horrible person." Christina puts both hands on my shoulders and looks me right in the eye.

"This was bad but it does not make you a horrible person Laur. You are not a horrible person," she says in a powerful tone. I attempt to believe her but it's difficult.

"How do I fix this? I don't want Jessie to hate me forever," I say and begin to cry again. I give up even trying to wipe the tears away even though I'm in public. Jessie means so much to me, I can't imagine living without her.

"Give her a few days to cool down and deal with her own emotions. Then talk to her. Tell her everything honestly. I highly doubt she could stay mad at you forever, she loves you," Christina tells me and I plan on following what she says. All I hope is that Jessie and I will be okay again one day.