Forbidden

Chapter forty-two

"You're killing me babe.." he whispered groggily, I flush when I take note of his bulge growing onto my core where I'm clenching my thighs and pull away slightly, letting his swollen lip snap back at its place.

He pulls me back quickly though to feel my lips once more, fisting my hair gently while kissing me with all his might that I'm the one to deflate in his hands.. He sucks on my upper lip then pried his way through my lips, diving his tongue up and down on mine before biting on my lip, the hand on my waist traveled down through my knickers pushing his hand down to grab my bare butt..

"Wait." I mumble even if I want nothing more than this which is alarming.. he groaned not stopping but eventually does and took a deep breath, quirking an eyebrow, dilated brown eyes focused on my flustered face while his hand slips away from my butt not before squeezing it and now let it lay above my knickers on my bum comfortably.

"About earlier-"

"Yes. What I said earlier still stands bambi." his voice low and raspier than usual from sleep and maybe from excitement. "Now.." he murmured with low hanging eyes peering at me impatiently pushing a strand of my hair behind my ear to cup my cheek wanting to kiss me again.

"No, wait." I sigh shakily, he listens. Then he cleared his throat when he saw me hesitating.

"Talk." he encouraged. "What's going on in that clockwork that is your brain?" he solemnly questions, then licked his lips frowning deeply as if trying to read me. He's more calm than usual.

"A lot of things." I begin, he looks at me with a knowing sarcastic stare so I continue, "How much things can switch in a matter of days but some things remain hidden even if a drastic change happened." I admit quietly before closing my lips shut at what I just freely said, he looks confused. "I just don't know anything about you Zayn." I whisper. I don't even know where I find the time to think about that when we're both so exposed.

"What do you want to know?" he slowly mused, he's annoyed like my subsconscious that I stopped kissing him.

"I don't know. For example I don't know your age or.." What was I even saying? This has to be curiousity and I just woke up so that explains my drowsy mind.

"So what? This between us is nothing more than mutual desire Olivia."

My stomach sinks and I blink hurt. I mean I knew that but can he not be so insensitive? This is Zayn that I'm talking about of course he won't care, I inwardly yell. That's the only relieving thing, that I know he won't lie to me when it comes to this, so I won't be played at least.

"But you know more about me than I do about you. That's not fair." I softly reply.

"That's not my fucking problem." he retorts harshly, I gulp peering at him. He saw the flash of pain that stuck on my face for a mere second because his hazel eyes soften for a fraction but he is still frowning. "I'm twenty two." he mumbled lowly. "Is that enough? Can you stop overthinking now?"

"But I want to know more-" I prevent myself when I knew what I was just about to say. Why do I want to get yelled at?

"About me." he ended, rolling his eyes.

"Well-"

"No, fucking drop it." he snapped looking to the side with the jaw set sharply and I gasp at his harsh tone.

"I need a smoke." he grumbled after a while, pushing me away so I lay back on the bed with a thud. I would've walked away on my own but am too frozen, trying to understand how that was the same Zayn from earlier where he so softly talked to me about what he wanted and how he assured me.. Was that an act or..? No.