Ten Sins || #Wattys2015

Chapter 184

We all have demons, that we can't stand...

Harry's POV

The room was dark thanks to the curtains that I decided to close so no sun can enter the room. I wanted everything around me to be black, dark, as if they don't even exist. I wanted to sit in a place where I could be all alone, without having anyone interrupting my thoughts.

I wanted to stay in the darkness. I liked it that way. I don't really know why...maybe because I have a very dark side that keeps having control..Or maybe because my soul is dark. Or maybe because I'm used to the darkness. Maybe it's all these things mixed together..

I definetely didn't want any company at the moment. The whole night was a living hell to me. I couldn't close my eyes. I knew that if I did, I would have their voices judging me and their screams echoing in my head, creating one of the worst nightmares.

Maybe it was that terrible because I didn't have Rebecca by my side. Maybe because my heart was still burning with guilt that I was so cold to her last night or that I did something that I know she will never aprove or forgive. Maybe it was because I finally realised that everyone around me hates me and they have all the right on this damn planet and I don't. Maybe it was because I didn't want to feel the pain, but I wasn't strong enough and it easily slipped in my heart and took over her.

Yesterday I sinned. Not that it was something new to me, but that sin was one of the heaviest. I can feel it pushing me down. I can feel it making me hate myself, just like everyone else does. Hell, maybe even God hates me...

It's one of the worst things that can possibly possess me: Anger. It's so strong and so addicting, that makes you lose control and just express yourself in any way. It can be tears, laughs, curses, fights or even sins.

And that anger made me sin one more time.

I didn't care about anything as I knocked the door down and stepped into the apartment. I didn't care about anything as I grabbed that man's tee and pushed him against the wall. I didn't care about anything as I took my knife out and stabbed his heart. I didn't fucking care as I burned the entire place down.

I just wanted to make someone pay because I was hurt. I just wanted to take out my anger to someone. That fucker surely deserved to die, because he knew where I could find dr.Royals' secret lab, but he wouldn't tell me. And being the impatient and careless jerk I am, I didn't even think of compelling him to tell me, so I just killed him.

Simple as that.

If you don't do what I want you to do, I'm going to kill you.

That's the only rule I came to grow up with.

Of course, after I killed that guy and burned the whole building, I stood a few meters away, just watching as so many people panicked and ran outside to save their lives. I simply stared as they begged for help and cried out of shock, as all of these innocent people had to go through all that because of me.

And the worst part? It fucking hurt.

This time it hurt. Every other time I sinned like that, I didn't let anything take over me. No regrets. No guilt. No sadness. Nothing. But now? Hell, I felt all of these feelings together, and it was really bad.

I was waiting like crazy for Rebecca to call. I was waiting to see 100 texts from her asking me if I was okay or where I am. I was even waiting a text of her demanding me to go home.

I needed her help. I needed her to come and comfort me. I needed her to come and tell me that everyone's a sinner and that everyone makes mistakes. I needed her to be there for me like she always did.