Paper cuts & Paper rings | JayWon

20. friends?

▬▬▬▬▬▬

Friday prayers somehow make Jungwon even more nervous than Sunday's, despite prayers beginning much more socially rather than appreciating God. He was afraid of Friday prayers because of the people – he knew them – and they knew him.

Jay went to the same services as him, however, they made an unspoken pact not to interact during services as their parents knew they weren't allowed to be around each other. It was horrible but he made sure to smile at him every time their eyes met, but by the fifth time, Jay seemed too upset to share even a fabricated grin.

By the end of the service, Jungwon excused himself and made his way up to the rooftop. The scene mimicked a conservatory, except without the glass and the unedifying humidity. But instead, it gave him enough clear air to clear his messy bundle of thoughts. He smiles and shuts his eyes.

The cool winds lash his cheeks which slowly fade back to a pale yellow rather than a stuffy pink that made him feel as if he were doing something wrong. He needed to get away from everyone. He needed to listen to himself.

"Jungwon?" The voice startled him, causing him to stumble on his brand-new school shoes and almost fall head-first on the concrete or wet soil.

When he turns to face the person who had practically snuck up on him, he's surprised to see that it's Lee Heeseung. The boy he had just helped at school – the boy who was recently outed as being 'gay'. It surprised him that such a prestigious person as Heeseung would ever get caught, let alone be queer in the first place. He had the perfect life.

"Hey Jungwon, I didn't mean to scare you or anything," He reassures, and it suddenly reminds him of last night. He knew his parents wouldn't want him to be around him and that sudden hyper-awareness made him feel uneasy.

He noticed that Heeseung seemed a little tired, forcing a smile just as Jay did. He frowns. It looks like that's all he's met with nowadays and he can even see the marks of woe on his own face except he's more apparent to hide it from his parents rather than his friends and peers.

"No, it's alright," Jungwon takes a seat beside Heeseung on the bench and tops looking around as if he were uninterested. "How are you holding up?"

"I would lie and say never better but," Heeseung chuckles darkly and cards his fingers through his hair, "you know... I'm gay," he looks away and forced his gaze onto the floor.

"Yeah... I get that," Jungwon mumbles nonchalantly. He's not even sure of what he's said after the words come back to him when he takes in another breath, "That's not what I meant-"

"You know it's okay if you are," Heeseung hums before he shakes his head lowly, "But if you don't want to tell me then I won't push you or anything," he quickly counters.

"I guess I am, but I don't really want to put a label on it right now," He chuckles and cards his finger through his hair.

Heeseung nods along, finding himself more comfortable with his classmate now that they know some intimate details about each other, "I guess I understand too... it's a bit weird but,"

Heeseung suddenly stops and shakes his head muter a soft nothing when Jungwon presses him for more.

"I would say you trust me but," Jungwon ruffles the hairs growing down the back of his neck, "we just met and especially after what happened with your outing, it's best to be careful, I say."

"Careful of you?" Heeseung softens his voice and turns his head slowly back at Jungwon.

Jungwon is stunned until he chuckles and shakes his head. He smiles and holds up his hand as if he were swearing on an oath, "I promise whatever you say to me, will stay with me." "Promise."