Forsaken {Female OC X JJ Maybank}

Destructive

Chapter Twenty Two- Destructive

A/N

Just a warning for this chapter, there's a few mentions of abuse, more than I've spoke about in the rest of the story. Nothing graphic mentioned, but it's a tough chapter for JJ and Harley.
Also- the song I thought of the whole time I was writing this was me and the devil by soap&skin, so you may want to listen to that whilst you read :)

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Harley was known to make bad decisions. It's what she did best. You can't disappoint anyone if they already expected the worst from you, that's what she always used to say. She was destructive, and acted on instinct, in the hope it would make her feel better. It never did in the long run, but for some reason, every time something went wrong every time she got hurt, she just couldn't stop herself.

She tried lying to herself that JJ's words didn't hurt. That he was just saying it out of anger. She tried pretending that the things JJ said, the way he acted didn't have an effect on her. But it did. She couldn't get it out of her head that the pogues didn't really like her. That JJ didn't really like her. And it hurt all the more after she'd finally come to terms with the fact that they did. She had just allowed herself to have friends, allowed herself to open up to people, only for JJ to crush it all with a few single words. She hated that he could do that. She hated that she'd allowed him to do that. As she walked through the cut, she cursed herself for not saying more to him. For not sticking up for herself. She created a fake scenario in her head where she did, what she wished she'd said.

'You're a fucking coward JJ. You can't accept the fact that I'm here for you and that I care about you and you're trying to push me away. You're trying to make me mad, or upset, well guess what it's not working! Because I know you care about me. You told me you do. You're such a fucking dick! I hate you for saying that! I hate you for pushing me away, I hate you for getting angry, I hate that you're impulsive, I hate that I care, I hate that I'm in love with you, you bastard'

Harley was exhausted. She's asked around the cut for no longer than fifteen minutes when a local pointed her in the right direction. She walked along the driveway, beginning to question her decision as she reached the front door. She thought about knocking, but finally deciding on just pushing the door open.

"Michael?" She called out. Her voice was hoarse and she felt exhausted. She just wanted to sleep. But she didn't want to go home, or back to Tanny hill, she didn't know where to go, so she did what she did best, she decided to be destructive. It felt strange to call out for her dad, after ten years of not having one, so she settled on his first name instead.

"Harley?" Michael appeared from out of the kitchen, he was in a vest and shorts, and his long hair wasn't tied back, but down, reaching his shoulders. The house was tidier than Harley expected it to be. There was an ashtray with a few dead cigarette butts in, empty bottles of water, an a pizza box on the table, but Harley was grateful at the lack of beer cans or bottles.

"Hi" Harley said, feeling suddenly shy, she looked down at her feet then up at her dad.

"I didn't expect to see you. Would have tidied up" Michael admitted, grabbing the pizza box and closing the lid.

"It's okay" Harley shook her head "can I stay here tonight?" She asked, feeling suddenly stupid. She wished she never came. Only one day ago she was screaming at him, telling him to leave, telling him she didn't want him in her life, and here she was, asking to crash on his sofa because she had an argument with the boy she was crushing on.

"Of course" Michael nodded eagerly "everything alright?" He asked. He gestured to the sofa and Harley hesitated, but when he sat first, she followed and sat next to him. She couldn't meet his eyes still. There was still a huge part of her that was scared of him, but he was all she had in that moment.