My Hanon

Amusement Park

Hanon

"That was so much fun" He chuckled as we left the rollercoaster. 

He laughed and I laughed with him all day until I couldn't feel my cheeks from laughing so much.

My gaze fell on him and I saw him laughing to himself and smiling.

I've never seen him let go and have this much fun.

Poor Kai must've never experienced childish happiness like this. His childhood was taken from him. No, actually it was never given to him in the first place.

This must be the first time he's having fun like a child should and he's eighteen.

Before I could stop it, my eyes filled with tears. I didn't know why, but I just felt so sad for Kai, who couldn't play like all the other kids.

Even I went to the amusement park with my parents when they were alive no matter how poor we were.

I tried to compose myself because I didn't want to ruin the mood, but Kai would never let anything go unnoticed. 

"Hanon?" He called me tilting his head when he saw my expression, "What's wrong?"

I still had tears on my face and I was trying hard not to shed any more.

"Nothing" I smiled and shook my head, "Do you want to go on the ferris wheel?" I asked, already holding his hand and dragging him towards it.

_________

"I'm sorry" He uttered out of the blue with his head down as we were high up on the ferris wheel.

I tilted my head, "Why?"

"You cried earlier so I must've done something" He mumbled looking down. He seemed ashamed. As if he had really done something wrong.

"Kai, no" I panicked and held his face, "No, no. Of course not"

"Then what was it?" He asked, his voice trembling. He lifted his hand and put it over mine that was on his cheek.

"I just-you were having so much fun and I was thinking about how you didn't have fun at all when you were a child and you didn't have a happy childhood and I just feel so sad when I think about it-"

I trailed off and sighed as my eyes filled with more tears.

"Hanon" He whispered and held the hands that were on his face, "Don't cry, Hanon. Something so small doesn't deserve your tears"

"Don't say that! It's not a small thing. You deserve everything and you weren't given anything so-" I paused to calm myself down, "-so I want to give it to you and I want you to be as happy as possible now"

"Hanon" He murmured. His eyes were wide as if he was in disbelief, "How can I not be happy when you're by my side? If I could spend the rest of my life with you I would do anything I was asked in a heartbeat"

Despite his words, I kept sobbing and sniffling. My hands dropped to my sides and now it was his turn to cup my face, "I never want to leave your side. If you allow me I will spend my whole life next to you"

His face was serious as he talked and he was looking at me right in my eyes. I smiled at his determination.

"Don't cry for me, please. It breaks my heart. If you cry because of me, I only want it to be from laughing too much"

I hugged him and shoved my face into his chest breathing in his calming scent. He immediately wrapped his arms around me and nuzzled my neck.

So calm and safe.