Thoughtless (UNDER EDITING)

Chapter 19 (Under Editing)

(A/N: I've been reading through all of my comments and I just love you all so much. You all mean the world to me and I would love to get to know you all better. Feel free to DM me and talk anytime that you would like. I may not get back to you immediately, but I will always message back even if it's not right away. :) I would love to thank you all again for being so amazing. And I hope you enjoy this chapter.

~Nikki Xx)

We packed all of the hunting equipment and headed out of the ramshackle house. I figured that we were gonna stay for longer than a night, but I was seemingly mistaken.

"We're leaving already?" I asked Sam as he walked ahead of my by a few feet.

Him and I hadn't talked about what I said to him about leaving, I was sure he didn't wanna do it in front of Jody or where Dean could overhear us.

"Yeah, Jody doesn't think that the hunt will take longer than a day." Sam slung his duffle into the back of the Impala and glanced at me, "Who are you riding with?"

I looked at Jody and she waved me to her Squad Car.

"I guess I'm riding with Jody," I looked back at him and craned my neck up to see his expression, he looked depressed and disappointed and he slammed the trunk shut.

"Okay," he leaned down to me and said threateningly, "but don't you think for a second that there isn't something that we need to talk about."

I nodded, I understood that he didn't want me to leave, but I felt like I couldn't deal with the bipolar mess that was Dean Winchester anymore. When I passed him, he brushed my shoulder and sent a chill through my body. Then the moment was over. He didn't even look at me, he didn't even acknowledge my very existence.

Maybe it was better that way, he was so wayward with his thoughts and his brain was so askew, he confused me. But I wasn't going to worry about it anymore, I would save myself the inevitable heartache.

"Ready to go, Cass?" Jody asked me with a kind smile playing on her lips.

"Yes ma'am," I answered respectfully and made my way to the right side of the car. She gave me a sour look, almost like she had just sucked on a lemon.

"Don't call me ma'am," she spat playfully, "it makes me feel old."

Her kind smile returned and I chuckled and nodded to her so she knew that I understood loud and clear.

"What should I call you, then?"

"Just Jody is fine, honey bun."

She started the engine to her cruiser and made a turn to get back on the main road. Dean honked the horn of his Impala and caught Jodys attention. He leaned out the window and he averted his eyes from me and assured to only look at the sheriff.

"You gotta take lead, so I know where I'm going," his voice was calm, not frantic or thoughtful, just calm.

Jody gave him a thumbs up and started onto the dusty road again. We were in South Dakota and there were crops on either side of us while we were driving. I hadn't noticed before since I was in control of Deans car and going about ninety down the road when we had arrived. Hurt swelled in my chest and I pushed the memory away, I pushed Dean Winchester further and further from my brain and I looked out my window.

"Are you okay, kiddo?" Jody broke the silence after a while when we came to a red light. When did we get into town? I didn't remember.

I sighed, "I guess I'm alright, just frustrated is all."

"Dean making you feel down in the dumps?" she asked again as her foot hit the accelerator. I shrugged.

I didn't want anyone to worry about this, about what he was doing to me or what he wasn't doing to me. It wasn't their business, but I knew that they meant well, I knew that Jody and Sam cared.

"He's one tough nut to crack sometimes," she said and drove us deeper into the town. "But he's not a bad guy. He's just been through a lot."

"So much that he can't let anyone in..." I muttered and she snickered, I assumed that she was agreeing with me.

{Dean's POV}

"What the hell are you doing with yourself, Dean?" Sammy asked forcefully as I followed closely behind the girls.

I understood why he was angry with me, but I wasn't about to sit there and take crap from my younger brother about something he could never understand. Cassie was too nice to me, I didn't deserve it, I knew that, but I wanted to be around her. It felt like I needed her and she was the only thing that was important at the time whenever she was around. But the Mark took over.

"Sam, we can't get attached to someone else, she'll just get killed like the rest of them, or worse!" It was true. Thoughts of Jo invaded my brain and I quickly shook them away. How dare I even compare the both of them? I loved Jo, and she was so special to me...but were my feelings for her fading finally? Now that I had stumbled upon this beautiful, precious, innocent, and sweet nineteen year old young woman? Not possible, though there was something about her that I couldn't put my finger on.

"Dean, I understand your attachment issues because of..." he wouldn't dare speak her name, "but you need to understand, that was years ago, things have changed and Cass is only trying to help you."

I turned the radio up and tried my best to block him out, to push the whole situation away, but it seemed impossible. Cassie was always there, in my head, smiling or crying or laughing or singing along with me to some classic tune. She was an old soul for someone of her age.

Sam turned the radio down angrily and his nostrils flared as I sighed.

"Do you think you can just avoid this conversation, Dean?" he snapped and turned to me, his ears red.

"Yes," I lied. I seemed to be doing that a lot since receiving Cains curse. What else was I supposed to do? Seek help from those who I loved and cherished and drag them into a deadly situation? "You need to be worrying about these monsters right now, Sam. Not reading me the riot act."

His tone was laced with disappointment rather than anger, "When are you gonna open your eyes?"

I shook my head and began to think.

My eyes were open, I just didn't want her eyes to shut permanently.