Never Bend

Torrent

*♦̮̑ɜܓ*‎
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Could I be the chosen one? As the question resonated in my head my emotions went numb. I was never chosen by anyone before.  I bullied at school, I was used by my mother at home and since she wiped my memories to her will, his was I to know if I was ever chosen, loved or experienced at all? My life was but a depth path of solitude. I often felt lonely then and time hadn't changed things for me.

The rain comes to a stop. Perhaps, nature is mimicking my emotions again. Slowly, I roll up and meet Tom's ragged  expression. The redness around his eyes and  his wet sleeve came as a surprise to me. I always thought he was this tough guy. He rarely showed any expression, he smiled a lot when his friends were around, but it never reached his ears. Sheepishly, he avoids my eyes, mind reading, he heard everything. 

Sometimes, I wonder what happened to him to make his feelings shutdown like that. Was I to turn like him?

A brisk of wind blows making me shiver. Completely wet from head to toe and covered with mud, I use my elbows to lift myself, but end up falling back again splashing muddy water over my face .

The tears weld together again, I am so pathetic. I can't even stand for myself and walk proud. Pride was the only thing keeping me whole this past few months, now I have nothing.
How is one to go forward when there is but a shattered kaladeioscope of your life left? How am I to pick up the pieces of my broken memory?
Was my family even my family?

My body tenses again, chokes with my sobs.

Tom's slim legs bend close to me, he wraps his arms around me, making the umbrella fall. His jaw twitches with words waiting to come out, but they don't. Welcoming the embrace, I hold to him as hard as my numb body lets me.

Turning my gaze to the ground, I notice a hole was dug where I'd been lying a few moments ago, as if a cocoon was slowly being created to protect my body. Leah's words come back to mind. What if?

It reminded myself I had wished myself to be buried and never feel the despair I was feeling. My heart swells again, but I have no more tears to shed.

"Hush, I'm here for you." He whispers in my ear as he presses me closer to his chest. 

Too tired, alone and deprived of real comfort, I find comfort of his arms.  I gently nest my face over his shoulder getting his shirt turn in a brownish tint.

The wind blew again, the umbrella flew away with it, but he made no move to catch it. The sun light was slowly disappearing leaving us in the darkness. The trees shades turned into skeletal fingers reaching to us and willing to take us to the underworld.

"Is there anything authentic about my life?  Was it all fake and made up?" I stammer, squeezing his shirt tighter. "Did she ever loved me at all?" I ask after a pause, the image of my smiling mother returning to my mind. Some days, were warmer than others. Like seasons and forecast, they variated and were impossible to predict. Eventually her love turned like a harsh winter until it blistered my soul every time I tried to reconnect.

He hugs me like something precious and breakable, trying to shield my body from the rain.
"I am cold, but I can remain for as long as you want."  His voice had a tenderness I never thought he possessed, warming my aching soul.