Never Bend

Chapter 25: Torrent

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Could I be the Chosen One? As the question echoed in my head, my emotions went numb. I had never been chosen by anyone. I was bullied at school, I was used by my mother at home, and since she erased my memories at will, who was I to know if I was ever chosen, loved, or even experienced? My life was just a deep path of loneliness. I often felt lonely then, and time hadn't changed things for me.

The rain stops. Maybe nature is imitating my feelings again. Slowly I roll up and meet Tom's tattered expression. The redness around his eyes and his wet sleeve surprised me. I always thought he was a tough guy. He rarely showed an expression, he smiled a lot when his friends were around, but it never reached his ears. Sheepishly, he avoids my eyes, mind reading, he heard everything.

Sometimes I wonder what happened to him to shut down his feelings like that. Would I become like him?

A brisk wind blows and makes me shiver. Wet from head to toe and covered in mud, I use my elbows to lift myself up, but fall back down again, splashing muddy water all over my face.The tears welled up again, I was so pathetic. I can't even stand up for myself and walk proudly. Pride was the only thing that kept me whole these past months, now I have nothing.

How do you go on when all you have left is a shattered kaladeioscope of your life? How am I supposed to pick up the pieces of my shattered memory? Was my family even my family?My body tenses again, choking on my sobs.

Tom's slender legs bend close to me, he wraps his arms around me, dropping the umbrella. His jaw twitches with words waiting to come out, but they don't. I welcome the embrace, holding on to him as tightly as my numb body will allow.

Turning my eyes to the ground, I notice that a hole has been dug where I was lying a few moments ago, as if a cocoon is slowly being created to protect my body. Leah's words come back to me. What if?

She reminded me that I had wished to be buried and never feel the despair I felt. My heart swells again, but I have no more tears to shed.

"Hush, I'm here for you." He whispers in my ear as he holds me closer to his chest.

Too tired, alone and deprived of real comfort, I find solace in his arms. I gently nestle my face over his shoulder, causing his shirt to take on a brownish tint. The wind blew again, taking the umbrella with it, but he made no move to catch it. The sunlight slowly faded, leaving us in darkness. The shadows of the trees turned into skeletal fingers reaching for us, ready to take us to the underworld.

"Is there anything authentic about my life? Was it all fake and made up?" I stammer, squeezing his shirt tighter. "Did she ever love me?" I ask after a pause, the image of my smiling mother returning to my mind. Some days were warmer than others. Like the seasons and the weather, they varied and were impossible to predict. Eventually, her love became like a harsh winter until it blistered my soul every time I tried to reconnect.

It hugs me like something precious and fragile, trying to shield my body from the rain."I'm cold, but I can stay as long as you want." His voice had a tenderness I never thought he possessed, warming my aching soul.