Always Been You | Tom Holland

THIRTY-SIX

Tom

I'm quite proud of those flowers, you know. The minute she told me her favorite flower all those months ago, I cataloged it in my brain for later use.

"Wow, look at those flowers. Oh, I love peonies."

"Are they your favorites?"

"Definitely. Always have been."

Thank God for my memory. My phone buzzes on the table next to me. My heart jumps reading the name.

Y/N

You've got quite the memory.

Tom

How do you think I remember all my lines?

Y/N

They're beautiful. Thank you, Tommy.

I never liked that nickname until she started using it.

Y/N

As far as peace offerings go, you've made a good case. I'll see you tonight.

I seem to be one step closer. I'm not sure what my end goal is, I just want her back in my life.

–

I'm considering staying home. I already have a short fuse because I'm riddled with anxiety, and I don't want to cause an issue for Y/N tonight. Her birthday is in a few days and I don't want to be the source of any stress for her. She told me to come, and I know Ben will be bummed if I don't show up, but I just don't know if I can go. My whole chest feels heavy with stress, and now that my movie is finally out, I know it's solely because of my fight with Y/N the other night and the fact that I obviously still love her and she obviously doesn't feel the same way. Seeing her again might not be a good idea.

That fact, however, is negated by the fact that I do want to see her again. I want to see her and not make an ass out of myself this time. I want her to know that she can trust me and that we can be friends without fighting. I can't really win her back if I'm sulking in my room the entire time I'm home.

My phone buzzes on my chest.

Ben

I'm about to head over. Want a ride?

I guess that's my decision made, then.

Tom

Sure.

We pull up to the pub and I can already see the inside full of Y/N's friends. I recognize a few from her graduation celebrations over the summer. I see Y/N laughing with someone I don't recognize right by the front door. I feel my chest tighten. She looks really happy.

Maybe I shouldn't be here.

"Come on, mate. She's happy that you're coming tonight, I promise." Ben turns his car off and pats my shoulder. "Though, if you're still trying to pretend like you don't love her anymore, your face right now is totally giving you away."

"Fuck off," I roll my eyes and step out of his car and into the bitter cold of London's winter air.

Stepping inside the pub I'm met with a rush of warmth, a wall of noise, and the smell of beer. I haven't been to a London pub in so long. The atmosphere is almost calming. I wave to Jane and Y/N as I walk toward the bar, raising an eyebrow and pantomiming a drink to ask if they need one. Jane holds up her full glass and Y/N nods yes. I was going to buy her one anyway, so this saves me an annoyed glance in the future.