His Saviour

Chapter 6

POV Titus

I didn't know what it was but for some reason, I trusted her not to hurt me. From the moment I saw her, I couldn't stop myself from feeling completely safe. It was almost as if she would be able to protect me from the world and most of all from myself. I knew that I would've killed myself on the roof earlier if she didn't stop me. I didn't want to live anymore. I wanted to stop it all - the nightmares, the flashbacks, hurting myself to feel something, to feel dead inside.

But she obviously wanted me to live. The question was if I would be able to change my path. Was it too late for me to be fixed as I was too broken? Yes.

Was she able to change that? Probably not.

Was she trying to help me even though she probably knew that the chance of being able to help me was almost zero percent? Yes

That was the most confusing part from my point of view. I had no idea why she even tried to help me but she did.

And that fact gave me a little bit of hope that I could be saved by her. The chances were slim but maybe I would be able to do it. I would need her help, a lot of it.

I was lost in my thoughts when I suddenly felt something on my shoulder. I flinched as always before looking to my side, realizing that she fell asleep and fell to the side. My breathing was picking up its pace but I didn't want to interrupt her peace. Unlike me, she was probably able to sleep and I knew that lack of sleep was terrible. It was easier than living through the past again but it still sucked - not to mention the fact that it wasn't good to prevent sleeping.

I removed the book from her hands and marked the page before closing it and putting it on the nightstand.
My body started to get used to her touch and relaxed, similar to some hours ago when she dried my hair. It was weird to not flinch from someone's touch. I mean in the beginning, I did but when I got used to it, I was able to relax. Relaxing wasn't a word I ever used before I met her, I never felt like that. But now she was able to keep me calm by her touch. She was able to stop me from committing suicide and I just let her without resistance. I just listened to her and followed her blindly.

It was weird to trust someone if you were never able to feel safe in your childhood. My father never made me feel safe. It was the opposite. He was the one that destroyed me. Broke me. Killed a part of me.

He was the reason I stopped talking. He always hurt me when I did so I stopped using my voice to avoid that.

My mother was a person I never met. I didn't know her name or anything about her but I didn't want to meet her. She could be like him and I couldn't survive that.

Tears were streaming down my face like usual when I was alone. Only this time I wasn't alone. She was here but I let her see through the facade of the emotionless boy. She was sleeping but she was with me.

My wrists started to ache badly. I wanted to scratch them until I drew blood. It wasn't even painful anymore. I did it too often to feel pain like a normal person. It's not that I didn't feel it at all. But the pain was normal to me so I didn't really notice it.

I started to scratch my wrists which wasn't as easy as usual due to the fact that they were bandaged. But I managed and did it for a few minutes when I felt her hand stop mine. I froze for a moment but continued to lessen the ache.

"Please stop it"

These words were enough to make me halt my movements. Before I knew it, she had moved one arm from the other and hugged it so that I wouldn't start again.

"Let's just brush our teeth and then go to sleep, okay? I will tell my mum that I'll stay the night. It's Friday anyway so school won't be a problem either"

After nodding my head, we brushed our teeth after I gave her a spare brush and then laid down again. This time, we weren't touching which made my heart ache. I wanted to feel her on me. It helped me to sleep - or made it possible in the first place. Her presence was enough but her touch was like the essence of it.

I turned around to face her and found her lying on her back with her eyes already closed. I scooted over a bit and laid down with my head on her chest. Her heartbeat immediately calmed me down and made me sleepy. It didn't take me long to succumb to the darkness.

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I woke up to someone scratching my scalp while stroking my hair. I instantly knew that it was Anastasia and snuggled more into her. Somehow I ended up lying completely on her with my legs tangled with hers and my head still on her chest. My arms were hugging her tiny form to myself and I wasn't ready to let her go yet. She didn't seem to mind the position - not that it was sexual in any way. I just felt comfortable around her and tried to absorb as much of her as possible. Her heavenly scent, her presence, her touch...

Everything she did showed me how much she cared for me and it felt good.

"We should get up. It is almost ten am and you have to eat something."

I shook my head and buried my head deeper into her hoodie. I didn't want to eat. I just wanted to cuddle with her until the moment that I died.

"I know you don't want to but you have to. We can relax after that and cuddle all you want but you have to eat."

I grunted into her chest and slowly opened my eyes. She was looking down at me with a small smile on her face. I smiled back and continued to look at her.

She slowly started to sit up with me still on her torso and waited for me to get up. I reluctantly got up and stretched my arms over my head.

She did the same and walked to the door after that. I followed her like a lost puppy, forgetting that I never left my room in the last few days. I stopped at the threshold after realizing that I might stumble into my foster parents. They weren't bad but the fact that I lost my trust in people made it hard for me to interact with people. What didn't help was the pity in their eyes. They didn't even know what happened to me but they still pitied me. I hated that.

Anastasia noticed that I wasn't following her and stopped walking. Turning around to face me, she stretched her hand out for me to take. I hesitated for a moment but took hold of her hand. She led me to the kitchen to the island in the middle of the room and motioned for me to sit down. I complied without hesitation and leaned my elbows on the counter, watching her. She let go of my hand which made me pout. She chuckled and started to prepare some eggs for us. I just watched her silently with my head leaning on my arms.

I wanted to ask her questions about herself so badly but I couldn't. It sucked but I couldn't change it. I could start to talk again but I didn't know if I was ready for that. My brain connected talking with pain. I didn't want to feel that pain again.

Lost in my thoughts, I didn't realize that she was finished until she put the plate in front of my face. It smelled good but I still wasn't amused about the fact that I had to eat it. I knew that it was important to eat more than once a day but a part of me wanted to starve myself and die. I couldn't explain it but it was harder than you'd think.

Picking up the fork and eating a bit of the plate wasn't easy but I still did it for her. But I couldn't eat more than an eighth before stopping and leaning my head on the table next to my plate.