After We Were Friends

Chapter 4 - The Replacement

Hallie's POV

It was the night before the first game of the season. I was sitting in my room, on my bed, with my laptop laid on my legs. I was mindlessly scrolling through Netflix, trying to find something calming to watch. But there was nothing. I was trying to get my mind off the game the next morning. I was nervous, quite nervous. I had never played in a league game before, and although I wasn't certain whether I would even play or not, something in my gut told me I would.

I soon went onto youtube, when I came across a video in my recommended.

Ettie Walsh - Greatest highlights. In Memory of Everyone's Favourite Left Back

I clicked on the video.

Ettie,

From your biggest supporters,

This is for you. Our favourite left back, our favourite player.

Here's to all your greatest moments.

The video was 10 minutes long, showing all her greatest moments. Her debut with Manchester City, as a young teenager. Her first game playing alongside her twin sister. Her first game with Chelsea, repping the blue and her number. Scoring the winning penalty in the Champions League final. Playing in three World Cups, two Euro tournaments, and an Olympics. She was incredible. I was in awe of everything she had achieved, before her 27th birthday.

No one could replace her. No one in this world would come close.

I tried shutting off the video, trying not to get into my own head about what tomorrow could possibly bring. But I couldn't. I couldn't stop watching.

Was I ready for this? Was I digging myself into a deeper hole than I already was in? Not only was I the little sister of Mason Mount, one of Chelsea's best players, but I was also coming in to essentially replace someone who is irreplaceable.

I quickly closed my laptop, jumping out of bed, trying to shake the feelings that were manifesting within my head. I knew what could calm me down. It always had. I went over to my desk drawer, grabbing the lighter that lay there. It hadn't been used in a while. I was nearly three months clean. But I couldn't help it. My thoughts were intruding too far into my head, and I needed the relief. The relief that I could only gain from the feeling of heat on my skin.

I closed my door, and even though I lived by myself, it was still a habit. I lay against it, unbuttoned my pants, and felt the heat protrude into my body, marking my skin.

"Fuck," I whispered to myself. Sometimes pain hurts. And other times it feels good. I knew I was delusional, but maybe we all are at times. It's okay to not understand yourself, or why you do things. That's what I tell myself at least.

After I had finished, I sat there, with my eyes dripping in tears, but a knowing that I would be able to do it. I will play that game tomorrow. I'm Hallie Mount. Nothing can stop me, not even myself. 

The next morning I woke up to a throbbing on my leg, but an excitement of what was to come. Not fear, anymore, but rather excitement. I got out of bed, faster than I had ever before, and changed into my gear.

We were opening our season at Stamford Bridge, against West Ham, something that we were all excited to do. It was always on my bucket list to play at the Bridge, rather than just be a spectator. I've seen Mason play there so many times, it would be impossible to count and to now think that I will be playing, on that pitch, and he will be watching me, in the stands that I normally sit in, fills me with something so cheery. So gleeful.

My phone started to ring, and when I saw who was ringing, I picked it up.

Mase

"Bro," I said into the phone, greeting my only brother like I normally do.