(Unedited)
" It has taken everything in me these past few months to stay away from her. My obsession with her is insufferable, even for me.
As days went on I longed to be near her, but my shadows would drown her light and all I ever wanted...
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When I got home no one answered the door. Momma must be sleeping since it is late out.
My body was so cold from the water and the cool night air that it numbed my ribs and head.
I need to get inside. The only option was the small kitchen window, which I pray was unlocked.
After some struggling to stack boxes so I could reach the window, curse my short height, I was able to pry it open. To my surprise, my chubby butt slipped right through the small window. I did a small victory dance in the dark kitchen, which sent a sharp pain through my chest. I better go lay down.
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Momma's bedroom door was shut so she must be sleeping. I would check but momma told me a long time ago to never go in there.
When I got to my room I stepped inside shutting the door behind me. It wouldn't lock tonight because momma wasn't here to do it. This thought caused my anxiety to rise, what if something happens? What if I do something to hurt myself? Momma said I'm too dumb to be trusted.
I quickly took one of my older shirts and ripped it into strips before wrapping it around my head, a pitiful attempt at stopping the bleeding.
I quickly took my clothes off and lay on my bed cuddling Mr. Cuddles.
I found myself again thinking about if I would pass away from blood loss tonight, and if it would be such a bad thing to happen.
I pouted a little. Some tears gathered in my eyes.
I can't blame people for not liking me. I might be ugly, but looks aren't everything, and my voice is annoying but I won't talk if they don't want me to. And I try my best not to be stupid. At least I'm a good person though, right?
That's what really counts.
But then again, momma said I was selfish, and good people aren't selfish. No, I was a bad person inside and out. If life wanted to take me tonight I wouldn't blame it.
I let out a deep sigh and tried to get out my best farewell to my bunny.
"I might not wake up in the morning. And if I don't, well.." I sniffled looking at my only friend other than my only family, "I want you to know that I love you. You are the best friend I could ever dream of. I hope you find a new, better friend after me." I gave Mr. Cuddles a kiss on the nose before I set him up against my sideways form. I'll give him one last show of my little butterflies.
