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(Chapter 23)Inner conflict

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(Chapter 23)
Inner conflict

~*~

Author POV


It was difficult. 

Because they could feel themselves falling, with each note that pierced their hearts with warmth and comfort. Each carefully crafted letter and doodle or drawing left behind in a hope to ease their mental and physical worries. Each note gifted without an expectance in return, just pure good will.

It was hard not to fall in love with someone who had a heart like that.

But then came the main issue. The lack of identity of their note giver. There was no sign or knowledge about their whereabouts or who they may be. That was the issue they all faced.

However, some felt more conflict than that, Taehyung who had been meeting up with his best friend he had lost many years ago, reconnecting and finding himself falling more than a best friend should. Finding he loved him past the precious friendship they shared together. 

Jin who had begun to visit the cafe that Jimin worked at more and more, eager to see the bright smiled younger man. Who always did a little doodle on his cup, something that brightened his day every time. Sometimes he would drop off small snacks that were available while the older man revised or did catch up for his university course.

Yoongi who had seen Jimin multiple times, he was by far Yoongi's number one music fan. He always left a tip if Yoongi was busking outside the cafe, brought him coffee no matter whether the weather was hot or cold. Watched his performances, clapping at the end, it made the older man's heart quicken in his chest when he saw the younger man's soft smile as he listened to the melody from the guitar Yoongi played.

Jungkook who had found a gym buddy in the older man, Jimin had started to work out with Jungkook after their first encounter in the gym. Jimin pushed him to do his best, but made the younger man realise he could stop when he reached his limit and make him feel good about it too.

Hoseok had found interest in Jimin during their tutoring sessions together, which he had invited Namjoon along to on the occasion. Jimin was always excited to see them both, they had formed a good friendship with one another. But for both the older men it was growing to be something more, as Jimin brought snacks and spoke and listened with interests to what they had to say. He made them feel validated and it was nice to share passions and interests together. 

That is where the mental conflict arose. 

They loved two people. Someone tangible they could see on a day-to-day basis, then there was the anonymous note giver. They had already spoken with each other on one occasion when they had a meeting in their kitchen together that they all had an interest in Jimin as something more than friends, they were fairly sure Jimin hadn't caught onto that yet.

Though it plagued their minds as to whether Jimin would hold or reciprocate their feelings. 

~*~

Jimin was finding it more difficult to write the notes to the men who he had come to be friends with. While at the beginning it had been easy, he could just write something short and sweet and watch their faces light up with glee as they opened their mailboxes, that always brought a giddy sensation when he saw those reactions.

But now as he wrote the notes, he had to not let too much on. The more he got to know the men he now knew as his friends; some were more solid than others. It was like he could hold solid conversations with them all, while others he actively saw with planned meet ups, that was mostly Taehyung, Hoseok and Jungkook. The other three were harder, he wouldn't say they weren't friends, they just weren't close friends.

Because if he wrote them a note and it contained something that only he would have known then it would come across as suspicious and his identity would be revealed. He wasn't quite sure he was ready for that. 

But he cannot deny he held a fondness in his heart for the men he had grown closer with over the months he has gotten to know them. He was at the tipping point between them being friends and seeing them as potentially being more, but he hadn't realised than in his mind or heart quite yet.

With losing his parents at a very young age and growing up in an orphanage his idea of love and how to obtain it was skewed with naive knowledge. He hadn't been exposed to love much during his youth, being raised by the Orphanage matrons they weren't able to support him all the time like his parents would. He was often left to his own devices. 

He had always wondered what it was like being loved like everyone seem to be. He knew people cared for him; he wasn't sure it was always love though. The reason Jimin liked the secrecy of the notes it because it prevented disappointment. He isn't going to lie and say he is a perfect person, because he isn't, many families have returned him before they thought of adopting him, as he wasn't the 'right fit'. 

This has caused him to guard his heart carefully, he'll get hurt otherwise. He wants the secrecy and that will prevent him from having a broken heart, which is the probable ending. Plus, he didn't wish to tarnish or ruin the friendships he had created with the other men. 

He wasn't ready to be found yet, but he knew they were looking. He just hoped they weren't disappointed in what they found. 

~*~

This was more plot driven than anything.

We may be getting some confessions in the future...

Anyway I hope you liked the chapter.

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Bye,
Winter

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