Elusive Dreaming

Cloudy-Lip Gallagher

Warnings: Drug usage, Drinking, Underage substace use, Smoking, Toxic Ideas, Death.

Song: Forgive the world/Decay-Nessa Barret

Cloudy- Lip Gallagher

Everyone has a mask, some are clear and others don’t know how to put the damn thing on. Since you were five you had been going to school with Phillip Gallagher otherwise known as Lip.

Sure you knew of eachother but you weren’t friends not until your older brother Kevin moved next to his family. Then you had no choice but to get to know the family next door. By age sixteen you were practically living at the Gallagher’s house.

“Mornin’ Gallaghers’!” You shout as you walk in the back door eating a toasted waffle. You got a few mumbles in response to your statement.  “Electric, due today.” Fiona the oldest says as she sets an old coffee tin on the kitchen table. You watch as each person puts money in around the table.

“How short are we?” Fiona asks Debbie the little fiery redhead at age 11 was class president. “$18.47” Debbie says counting the rest quickly. “Okay I can pick up another shift,” Fiona says. “I’m tutoring Karen Jackson after school.” Lip says “Here is a $20,” You say hanidng the bill over to Debbie. “Honey you don’t have to do that,” Fiona says while finishing up the lunches.

“I use it to and I practically live here.” You reply before grabbing your jacket from behind you nd heading off to school. “You really didn’t have to put in money you are a guest.” Fiona says as she stops you on your way out.

“It’s fine Fi, I don;t mind at all. Besides it wasn’t mine.” You say as you walk away shooting her a wink before leaving the house. Catching up with Ian and Lip “So Karen Jackson huh?” You say smirking at Lip all he does is take a drag from his cigarette.

“Ian, tell Kash I will be a a bit late today I have practice.” You tell the older male redhead. “Sure thing,” He says blowing out a drag from Lip’s cigarette. “Practice for what exactly?” Lip asks as you arrive at the school “Fucking your mom.” You joke knowing damn well you would rather not fuck Monica Gallagher. “Goodluck with that kid,” Lip says stomping out his cigarette and entering the building.

You smile and enter with Ian. before you knew it school was over for the evening. Walking home in the darkness wasn’t ideal in the southside although you knew how to stand your ground. Bonus you had a knife on you at all times thanks to Kev. As you entered the house you lightly tossed your bag on the ground.

Then proceed to the kitchen where you found a note from Kev and V your name scribbled neatly hinting Veronica wrote it. “Hey kiddo I’m over at the Gallagher’s and Kev is working tonight. Love V,” You read aloud softly.

Grabbing a cold drink from the fridge before you showered. Finally ready to go you headed to the  Gallagher’s to grab something to eat. Approaching the door you heard chatter paired with music. “Hey!” V exclamied noticing you entering “Hey V,” You replied knowing by her happy-go-lucky-mood she was drunk and so was Fiona.

“How long she been drinkin’?” You as Ian and Lip who were in the living room watching the two ladies laugh, gossip, bitch, who knows. “Since dinner so about six give or take.” Lip replied “Thanks,” You say with your water in hand.

“How was practice?’ Ian asked you. “Good I guess,” You respond “You never actually answered my question earlier. Practice for what?” Lip asked in his usal calm but snarky tone. “Why do you care Philip.” You say “Oh so its Phillip now.” He said setting down his beer you knew what was about to happen.

“Ian hold them down!” Lip exclaimed while tickling you “Fine,Fine, Phillip I’ll tell you. Now let me go before I piss myself.” You laughed “Okay what is your practice for?” Lip asked as you adjusted yourself from Ian’s grip. “I am a… Boxer.” You say “Really?” Ian says “That was anti climatic.” Lip says drinking his beer.

“Explains alot,” Ian says Lip nods his head in agreement. “Fuck you both.” You say getting up only to be pulled back down by the boys. “Wanna take this upstairs?” Lip says jokingly “Ew, atleast not with Ian here.” You play along feeding into the antics. Ian almost spits out his drink meanwhile Lip’s blue eyes are going to pop out of his head it seems.

“Okay baby, Ian leave.” Lip says downing his beer only to move closer to you. Ian gets up from his seatgoing upstairs. Hovering over you with your faces only inches apart fron eachother. “Your breath stinks Philip.” You remark enucating the last letter. Without hesitation Lip closes the gap between you both. His lips melt agains yours as your hands find their way to his dark chestnut hair.

“Hey lovebirds! Take it upstairs would ya!” Fiona shouted laughing hysterically. Needless to say that made you both jump apart.

That was the night you finally relised you liked Lip fucking Gallagher. Your bestfriends older brother and your neighbor. You hid it for years before without knowing, how hard could it be to hid the truth for a little longer? You were so wrong. It pained you to watch as Lip started to date Karen.

Then again when she became pregnat wth his kid. Although you thought you could forgive the world. “Hell is right around the corner, but I’ll forgiv the world as long as it has you.” You wrote singing along to the lyrics that swirled in your head.

“Karen is having her baby, come on get down here.” Ian said truth the phone pacing back and fourth in the lobby. You sighed the feeling of dread washing over you. You needed to see the sunlight on a cloudy day and forgive the world for a moment.

Somehow you found yourself walking into the front entrace of the hospital. In which the guy you loved was about to become a father. “It’s not Lip’s kid, he is pissed.” Ian informed you as you made it to the lobby.

Storming past you two was the man of the hour Phillip Gallagher. Ian moved to go after him. “I got this one.” You said walking behind Lip. That night was cloudy but just lightly. Underneath the L was one pissed of boy and his brother’s bestfriend. “I don’t know the exact emotions you have so I can’t say I know what you’re feeling. When I was two my father left my mother after she kicked him out. I see the world with my father’s eyes and my mother’s lies. I forgave the world and it fucked me.” You say trying to dexsclate the situation inching closer and closer to him.

“I dropped put of fucking school for her. I treated her like a queen.” Lip said exhaling a cloud of smoke. “You took your hands off of her eyes to soon Lip.” You said “The fuck does that mean?” Lip asked taking the last drag of his cigarette. “It means you spoiled her she wasn’t surprised if she had everything she ever wanted.” You explained. “Thank you.” Lip said “For what?” You asked “Being here with me. I don;t know going after me. My own family wouldn’t of even done that.” Lip says “

No problem, it’s better than you waking up tomorrow and apologizing for something you did.” You reply as you lean your head on his shoulder staring up at the stars. “Lip, this isn’t the right time and I know but Karen was always a bitch.” You admit which he laughs causing you to smile like a chain reaction. “You’re cute when you smile.” Lip admits as you two face eachother both of you intocixaced underneath of the bridge.

“Wanna finish the story we started so we can move onto the sequel?” Lip asks quoting how much you read.

“It’s me and you against the world kid.” Lip says “Lip that makes you sound like a pedophille.” You say resetting the chain reaction.

Face to face inches apart your eyes drift to his lips and his to yours. You indicated the kiss this time, pulling away from him quickly. “I like you without the mask, the real you.” Lip says leaning in one more time. That night you slept in hs arms underneath the stars.

Pretending that if you never left his arms you wouldn’t get older. It was heaven next to him. You didn’t know that you two would be bad for eachother. Hurting eachother just to see the other cry. It was you two against the world from thst night. He was the drug and you were the antindote.

You were loyal and knew you would never fucking love him. But loving you was his suicde his kryptonite. There was no chance in hell that your love would last. Not with girls like Karen Jackson in the world. YOur future with him was six eet under before it started. But you wanted to be his everything.

Dreaming of a wedding, and kids someday. You knew him even if your were decaying somewhere. Your body cold and the bugs eating your brain. Lip Gallagher’s cloud of cigarette smoke was enough to cloud your vision.

Word Count:1583
Published: 02/13/2023